


first emotions of love

by moss_time



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Fjord the chaotic dumbass, Other, at least thats how it starts, kinda turns into like. slices of life, oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 13:09:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17305190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moss_time/pseuds/moss_time
Summary: An ostentatious tiefling frequents the flower shop Fjord works at, and with time he grows curious.





	first emotions of love

**Author's Note:**

> this is all over the place tbh, ill post the flower meanings in the notes at the end, enjoy

“Every goddamn week, Beau!”

Beauregard shrugs, taking another bite of her pizza slice. 

Fjord glares at her half-heartedly. 

“Maybe he just likes flowers,” she says, still chewing. They're at Fjord's place, Beau lounging on the kitchen counter and eating his food while he rants about the peculiar customer at Caduceus' flower shop. The person is not making a mess or any kind of trouble, on the contrary, the tiefling in question is always pleasant, if a bit flirty. The thing that bothers Fjord is the amount of flowers he has bought in the last three months. 

“That's enough flowers to fill my entire apartment. All of it.”

Beau groans. “It's not that much. But if you're so curious about it just fucking ask him.”

“I can't just _ask_ him. It's none of my business.” 

“It's not a big deal man, just fucking flowers! Why do you even care? That person gives you money. Who gives a fuck if he buys a shit-ton of flowers. It. Gets. You. Money.” 

“It's just–” he mumbles and sets his coffee on the counter. “How are you not curious about this?”

“I don't give a shit about someone's weird flower fetish,” she says, obviously annoyed with the conversation. “Your little crush on them though, that's fun.” 

Fjord stares at her blankly. “My what?”

“You've been talking about this dude since I've gotten here. And that's just today,” she takes a sip of his coffee and gags. “Don't say it's just weird and annoying. What was that about him being hot? Calling you 'handsome'?”

“I don't think he's really a dude,” Fjord would bet on that, he's seen the various slogans on his shirts that clearly indicate he gives no fuck about gender. It's quite obvious. Not that Fjord has been paying attention. 

Beau waves him off. “Figure of speech. That wasn't my point.”

He really should have known he wouldn't get away with that so easily. “Well about the rest, it's just what he's like. I'm being perfectly objective here.”

“Sure,” she rolls her eyes. “Man, I have _never_ heard you talk about someone like that. Which is kind of sad.”

“I am so sorry that I'm not attracted to every hot woman who walks by.”

“Fuck off.”

“Let's make this clear,” Fjord says. “I don't have some kind of ridiculous crush on this goddamn stranger–”

“Mhm.”

“–And you are not going to mention any of this to Jester.”

Beau fakes an offended look. 

“I swear to god, Beau, she'd never let it go.”

“Okay, yeah. Not a word to Jess.” She steals the last pizza slice and hops on the counter, almost knocking the mug off. 

To be fair, the person they're talking about is quite attractive. It's not that Fjord hadn't realised or thought about it. It would be hard not to notice. Lavander skin, covered with colorful tattoos, horns adorned with jewelry. The bright grin and even brighter red eyes. The easy, comfortable way he strolls in the shop and smirks at Fjord.

Fjord had never been the type to stare at someone, but he finds it hard to take his eyes off of the beautiful mess of colors that is this tiefling. 

But then. The flowers. The ridiculous amount of flowers he has bought since the first time he walked in the shop. 

Fjord hears Beau scoff. 

“What now?”

“You've got that look,” she says, mouth full of food. “The one you have when you're thinking about how you're totally not crushing on a random person who keeps arriving at your workplace.”

“I'm done with this conversation,” he sighs. “Also with you. Get out of my apartment.” 

Beau nods but otherwise shows no signs that she's actually considering leaving, or that she heard him at all. She keeps eating his pizza. Fjord turns around to make another coffee, followed by his friend's disgusted glare. 

“Want some?” he asks. 

“Nah. You make awful coffee. That shit will probably be the cause of your death. Both because you're so bad at making it and because that much coffee can't be good for anyone.”

“Thanks. I have some beer in the fridge.” 

In the corner of his eye he sees Beau hop off the counter and make her way over to get beer. She comes back with two bottles, which Fjord assumes are both for her. 

On her way back she bumps into him. She points at the couch. “Wanna see if there's anything worth watching on TV?”

“Sure.”

***

That Friday it rains the entire morning. Fjord enjoys the rain, the soft, rhythmic sound and soothing vibe it has. Also, because of the inconvenient weather his day at the shop passes relatively calmly. It's almost boring. 

He pretends he's not expecting a certain tiefling to arrive any minute now. 

Along with the curiosity, there's a certain familiarity that comes with the stranger. It's like coming home after work and finding Beau there, even if she's been living with Jester for a year now. It's like Jester sending him pictures of animals she sees during the day, all joined by funny captions and way too many emojis. Something warm, something he's used to. 

Caduceus makes them tea somewhere around noon. The tea that Fjord accepts to drink only after Caduceus promises it's not his dead people tea, just regular tea, thought really, who knows what 'regular tea' is to him. They drink it in comfortable silence, broken only by firbolg's occasional comments on the weather and a bunch of new flowers he got. The rain is good for the plants, he says. 

Fjord wouldn't have noticed anyone entering if it wasn't for the recognisable jingle of jewelry. And sure, standing at the door is the colorful tiefling that Fjord can't seem to get off his mind. 

They make eye contact and he grins. “Hello again, handsome.”

“Mornin', ” Fjord says, then mentally kicks himself for forgetting it's past noon. 

The tiefling saunters towards him, hips swaying, pierced tail swishing behind him. His soft curls are damp from the rain, and even Fjord with his minimal knowledge about fashion can say that a bright hoodie clashes horribly with the multicolored sweatpants he's wearing. But somehow even looking like a complete mess, he pulls it off. 

“So I need...” he mutters, leaning on the counter. He waves at Caduceus. “Would you happen to have some orange and pink roses?” 

Fjord murmurs an affirmation and leaves to get the flowers. Due to the weekly visits he has unintentionally memorised the amount of flowers he would get every time, it was just the type of flowers that changed. When he comes back, handful of roses in hand, the tiefling is chatting with Caduceus and occasionally typing something on his phone. 

“There,” he hands him the bouquet, hoping his gaze doesn't linger for too long. The tiefling looks up from his phone and smiles. 

It's that warm, soft smile, that makes Fjord's heart beat faster than any flirty comment ever could. 

He purposely ignores Beau's voice in his head. 

“Thank you dear. Beautiful as always,” he winks and turns around. Fjord thanks whoever's listening that he can't see him blush. 

“Have a nice day,” he says and gets a wave back as the other is exiting the shop. 

It's only on his way home that he realises he forgot to ask what the flowers are for.

 

Later that day, Fjord opens the door to his apartment to find both Beau and Jester sprawled across his couch, finishing what looks like a box of ice cream. 

“I regret letting you keep the key more every day,” he says and throws his jacket on Beau's face. It's fake annoyance and they both know it. 

Jester's eyes light up at his arrival. 

“Fjord!” she exclaims. She tries to go for a hug but is stopped by Beau laying on top of her, so decides to just stretch out her hands towards him. He leans down to hug her. “I haven't seen you in so long!”

“We had lunch two days ago, Jess. And we have talked since then.” 

“Too long!” she offers him a little ice cream left. Beau groans in protest. Jester gently flicks her nose with her tail, then points her spoon at Fjord. 

“Are you coming to our place tomorrow?”

Hanging out at Jester's place is a common occurrence but the way she asks sounds more like it's a thing she's been planning for, and less like their usual Saturday. “Uh, sure?”

“Did you not tell him?” Jester pouts at Beau. “We're having a party. Well, not really, more like we're just hanging out, because we want you to meet Yasha, you know that one who Beau has a giant crush on?”

“The tall goth one?” Or the woman Beau has been crushing on since the first day she arrived at the gym, apparently. Fjord has never met her, only heard stories from the two of them. According to those, she works as a bouncer at a strip club, is rather quiet and could probably snap Beauregard in half. Beau seems to really enjoy that fact. 

It took a long time for her and Beau to have an actual conversation, he knows that from Beau's countless rambles about her inability to talk to hot women, specifically this one. 

But then Jester stepped in and took matters in her own hands. The bubbly tiefling managed to befriend the tall goth pretty quickly. 

“That one! Her name is Yasha. She's very sweet. Oh and she loves flowers!” she nudges Beau. “We should get her flowers!”

“I thought she was just another girl Beau was pining over?” Fjord asks. 

Beau throws the jacket back at him. 

“Tell me I'm wrong.”

“Fuck you. ”

“Thought so. Also, are the others coming?”

“Of course! Well, Deuces has a family dinner thingy so he probably won't make it, but Nott is coming and she promised she'll drag Caleb if she has to,” Jester says. Fjord doubts it will be necessary, Caleb has been slowly coming to terms with the fact that he's a part of their little group. He's become rather fond of them. “But now, on to other interesting topics,” Jester is looking at him with an expression that can only mean trouble. “What about that hot tiefling at Caduceus' shop? Was he there today?”

Fjord glares daggers at Beau. She spreads her hands, eyes wide. 

“C'mon man, it's Jester. What do you want me to do?”

He sighs, still glaring at Beau. “Yes, he was there today, Jester.”

“Good! Tell me everything.”

“Nothing to tell.”

“Fjord!”

“I'm serious! He entered the shop. He bought flowers. He left the shop.”

Jester smirks. “How did he look?” 

He really should have learned that nothing good comes from Jester smirking. “Uh. Real nice.”

Her smile widens. It's a rather nice smile, sharp fangs visible, but it's usually a sign of Jester planning something. 

“Jester, no.”

“Do you like him?” she sing-songs. 

“No. Absolutely no, Jester.” He hears Beau scoff. Then she falls off the couch as Jester stands up and skips over to Fjord. 

“Do you need help? I'm a _very_ good matchmaker.”

“Jester–”

“Tell me *everything* about him.”

“Jess,” Beau sits cross legged on the floor, looking at him apologetically. “Jessie, I totally agree that we should keep bothering Fjord about this–”

“Great!”

“–But maybe you should let him be. Just for today.”

Jester takes a moment, seemingly mulling it over, then grins again. 

“You're right. We'll have a better chance tomorrow. Nott will help me.”

Fjord groans. “She has nothing to help you with! I don't–”

“Shh Oskar,” she taps his cheek. “Eat your ice cream.”

So Fjord does, even though there's barely any left. He doesn't miss any chance to glare at Jester whenever they make eye contact. Jester, who just goes back at furiously drawing in her sketchbook that she whipped out of nowhere, that devilish smile on her face. 

Fjord decides he has every right to be scared of tomorrow. It's not helping that Beau is still shooting him apologetic looks. Beauregard being sorry is rarely a positive thing. 

Once Fjord has gotten rid of the empty ice cream box, Jester snaps her sketchbook shut and gestures at Beau to scoot over so he can fit on the couch too. After some fumbling and a few accidental punches, they're all more or less seated comfortably. Fjord thinks how they could've easily all fit, but Beau just has to be laying down, Jester is like a starfish in this case as well as when sleeping, and Fjord is not the tiniest person around. But they make it work.

They let Jester choose the movie, as they usually do. Meaning they're watching some kind of a romantic comedy, which neither of them actually dislikes that much. Still, Beau has to complain. 

She whines about 'always watching the same shit' but it has the same weight as Fjord complaining about the two of them crashing at his place and eating all of his food. There's only a trace of mild annoyance present, they're used to this. It's a routine and he'd be lying if he said he doesn't enjoy it. 

He doesn't realise how tired he is until halfway through the movie when there's a scene, vaguely familiar and oh, yeah, they've watched this movie at least five times already. 

He falls asleep with Beau's feet in his lap and Jester's head on his shoulder. 

***

Things start quite awry that Saturday. 

It's one of those days when the weather can't decide is it supposed to be cold or warm, the sun is high in the sky but the wind is blowing and there are occasional bouts of rain. 

Fjord wakes up way too late, still on the couch, feeling groggy and like he slept for an hour instead of over nine. His neck is paying the consequences for the horrible sleeping position. 

He forgets breakfast entirely. Gods, he can practically hear Beau yelling at him. Like she's not as much of a mess. 

Thinking back on it now, he can't remember doing much that afternoon, with his head still throbbing and feeling like he could fall asleep at any minute if he laid down. Thankfully time passes quickly. 

When he's finally off to Jester's place, the traffic is horrible. 

He's running late.

No one will actually give him shit about it, he knows that. Jester is pretty much always late everywhere and Beau probably won't even notice. Actually, Caleb is possibly the only person who would realise he's late. 

But Fjord just _hates_  being late. 

He takes two stairs at once because of course the elevator doesn't work. 

Jester left her door unlocked. Just as he's finally entering the apartment, thinking that he should warn someone about the door, a blurry figure runs into him and strong arms wrap around him. For a moment all air leaves his lungs as Jester squeezes his waist like her life depends on it. 

“Jess, darlin', please,” he hugs her back, trying to avoid getting blue curls in his mouth. One of her horns is bumping into his cheek. “I can't breathe.”

Part of him wants to point out that she's just seen him yesterday, but it has been a rather annoying day and he'd be lying if he said that a hug wasn't greatly appreciated.

Jester pulls away, only to grab him by the hand and tug him towards where the others are. 

“Come on, everyone is here already. You have to meet Yasha,” she says, free hand flapping excitedly. It's endearing how happy she is about him meeting her new friend. “And Molly!”

“Molly?”

“Yasha's best friend. Oh! He works at that strip club Beau and I dragged you to that one time! But they moved here only three months ago so–” 

“Jester, slow *down* .”

“No! I'm so glad you're finally meeting them!”

Then she pushes him in the room currently occupied by three people. 

Only one of them he knows, it's Beauregard on a kitchen counter, again. 

Then there are the other two. 

A tall, muscular woman that could only be Yasha, wearing a huge grey hoodie. Her hair is wild, mostly loose, decorated with a few tiny braids and blue ribbons. 

Later he would have the time to marvel at how gentle her voice is as she greets him, but at that moment Fjord finds himself staring at the other occupant. 

Because it's the same goddamn tiefling from the flower shop. 

He fits perfectly next to Jester, colorful and eye-catching in every way, while being a complete opposite of his friend. A bit of make up he has is relatively neat while Yasha's is smudged, seemingly on purpose. His shirt has way too many colors and symbols, he's wearing a bright red skirt and fishnets and Fjord refuses to think about how nice his legs look. Absolutely no. 

The tiefling– Molly, his name is Molly, and gods it's such a pretty name, it fits him so well– looks up at him. There's recognition in his eyes as his grin widens. 

 _Dammit_. 

“Oh, hello,” he drawls and Fjord doesn't know what to with himself, now painfully aware of both Jester and Beau starring at him. “I know you.”

Beau narrows her eyes at Fjord. “You do?”

He just barely stops himself from awkwardly clearing his throat and avoids Beau's gaze. “Yeah we've, uh, seen each other around.”

“We sure have!” Molly says and turns to Yasha. As he does, Fjord gets a wonderful view of the peacock tattoo on his right cheek. “He works at that lovely flower shop I told you about.”

During those months Fjord had never let himself truly look at Molly, kept trying to just look him in the eyes or not at all, in fear that he would be caught staring. But now it's not just the two of them, there are others that Molly is occupied with. So he lets his eyes roam. 

And there sure is much to see. 

The snake around his arm accompanied with flowers is more visible now, and he can see the myriad of scars covering almost every bit of lavender skin that's visible. His tail is lazily making loops in the air. His hair is loose, as it usually is, and he keeps having to move a strand of plum purple hair out of his face. 

He finds himself once more staring at the tattoo gracing his right cheek, the need to trace it overwhelming. 

Fjord finally averts his gaze from Molly and instead catches Beau looking at him. And oh, it's a mistake. She's definitely glaring at him. It's like he ate all the pizza by himself. Like it's his fault he accidentally met her crush's best friend and maybe has been rambling about him for quite some time. 

Beside him, he can feel Jester radiating excitement.

It's a disaster waiting to happen. 

A soft, unsure voice stops his train of thought, reminds him that he is supposed to be meeting people here, not stare foolishly. 

“It's nice to finally meet you,” Yasha says. She nods in his direction with a nervous smile. “They've told me a lot about you.”

“Fjord,” he replies. “Pleasure's all mine. I've heard a lot about you as well.”

He looks at Beau pointedly and hears Molly scoff. The tiefling looks at him, tail swaying in a way similar to cat's. 

Usually cats aren't Fjord's favorite. However.

“Mollymauk Tealeaf, Molly to my friends,” he smirks. “And I think it's about time you and I became friends.”

His pupiless eyes are boring into him and Fjord can't think of what to say, nervousness getting the better of him. 

Thankfully, Jester saves him. Kind of. 

“Did you get the drinks?” she asks, her eyes gleaming that way they do when she's planning something mischievous. 

And yes, of course. The drinks. 

The drinks he was supposed to bring. 

“I forgot,” he admits. “I'm sorry. I'll go get some, gimme a sec–” 

“I can go.” 

Both of them startle, just now noticing the goblin standing beside them. Nott and her stealth skills never fail to surprise Fjord, he doesn't think he'll ever get used to it. He notices her looking suspiciously at Yasha, who tries very hard not to make eye contact with the tiny woman. 

Nott gently pats Fjord's hip when he gives her a confused look. 

“I mean,” he stammers. Drinks. That's what she was talking about. “You can?”

“It will be faster than you going to buy it,” she says like it's the most obvious thing. 

Which it is. Of course. Nott and Caleb live just one floor down. 

“Yeah. Yeah you're right.” 

What a fucking day. 

Nott disappears from the kitchen, followed by a soft click of the door. 

“Well,” Molly says, his eyes fixed on the hallway where the little goblin went. “She's charming.” 

While Fjord is thinking how his life is turning into one of Jester's favourite movies, he feels a tight grip on his bicep.

“We're gonna go get Caleb,” Beau proclaims and starts dragging him out of the kitchen. She ignores his yelp and the other three giving her confused looks. Fjord gives Jester a thumbs up, though he's not entirely sure he's right about that, and gets a grin in return. 

He wishes he could be surprised. But it's just Beau and that's what Beau does. 

When they're far enough, out of the hall and in their small living room, she lets him go. 

At least Caleb is actually there, curled up on the couch with an open book as he so often is. He looks up and nods at the two of them. 

Then Beau stands in front of him, still glaring. Only now she also uses her hands to empathise how pissed off she is. 

“Fjord! Dude! What the fuck?!” she whispers. Or at least it's her attempt at whispering. Fjord is pretty sure anyone paying attention could hear her. “ _Molly_?! Fucking _Molly_?! Are you fucking kidding me!” 

“Stop yelling!”

“Shut up! I'm being quiet!”

“That is not what being quiet means, Beauregard,” Caleb mumbles. In true Caleb fashion, he keeps reading his book and doesn't even look at them. 

Beau flips him off and punches Fjord's shoulder. 

“You! You—” she groans. “All those times you were rambling about a hot person at your shop! Fucking Molly?!”

“How was I supposed to know you guys knew him?!”

“That's not the point! Fjord! He's the worst! He's such a fucking obnoxious asshole! He's unbearable!”

“So he's like you?” Caleb asks, turning a page. 

“Fuck you!” 

“I don't see why any of that matters! I am not—” Fjord glares at Beau's raised eyebrow. “I am _not_  attracted to him, or whatever other theories you and Jester have made up.”

At Beau's scoff Caleb finally does lift his head up from, partially closing the book. “I feel like I'm missing something,” he says. 

Beau groans again, not letting Fjord start any more sad attempts at defense. 

“Molly has been going to Caduceus' flower shop, where Fjord works—”

“I know that.”

“Shut up. Let me finish. So he's been going there every Friday to buy some flowers. For like, what, three months? Since Yasha and he got here.”

“That is a lot of flowers.”

“I guess? Anyway the thing is, Fjord has got his panties in a twist about it.” 

“I do not,” Fjord protests. “I was just curious. It's a lot of fucking flowers.” 

“It is,” Caleb nods. “I don't see why it's weird that he's curious.”

“Thank you!”

Beau puts a hand on Fjord's face, a weak but successful attempt to shut him up. “Maybe if that was all! But then he keeps going on about how he always looks good and how he's always so kind and flirty and ugh,” she drops hand and grimaces. “It wasn't as bad before but now when I know it's all about Molly it's just. Ew.”

Caleb nods. Fjord thinks he sees a slight smirk on his face which is beyond upsetting. “Ah.”

“What does that mean?! Also,” he turns to Beau. “I never said he looks good.”

“Not directly. But it's obvious from the way you talk about him that you think he does. Not to mention that you almost never talk about people that way, like, at all.”

“Objectively–” Fjord starts. 

“ _Oh my god_.”

“–He's an attractive person.”

“True,” Caleb murmurs. “Good in bed, too.”

There's a beat of silence, during which both Beau and Fjord are staring at Caleb, who has opened his book and simply keeps reading. Doesn't spare them a look. 

Fjord dimly decides that the book is probably there just as an excuse to avoid socialising. It's actually admirable. 

Finally, he gets his bearings. “So you two uh.”

“We had sex, yes.”

Beau keeps looking at the wizard, mouth agape. “I cannot believe I'm friends with either of you.”

Fjord tries to ignore the ugly pang in his stomach that he recognises as jealousy. It's not something he experiences too often, and even at that short moment it's a lot. He has no idea what to do with it. 

“Well that's um, nice.”

“It was a joke,” Caleb says, still not looking up form his book. 

 Fjord squints. “I'm not following.”

“I never slept with Mollymauk. We just met. I just wanted to see your reaction,” he says like it's the most normal thing to do. “And I can confirm that what Beauregard says is true.”

“You fucking–” 

“Please stop being so loud.”

While Beau laughs and Fjord tries to think of a clever response, Nott sticks her head into the room. 

“Jester told me to get you. We've got alcohol.”

Caleb curses under his breath. 

***

Fjord doesn't remember much from that night. What he does remember though, is a comfortable weight on his lap, loud laughter that he hopes he was the cause of, gentle press of lips on his cheek, warmth. 

The rest is a blur.

***

That morning is no better than the previous one. Possibly even worse in fact. He awakes with the worst headache ever, once again in a horrible sleeping position, sprawled across an armchair. The whole room smells of alcohol. 

It takes him about half an hour to find his shoes, which is most likely something he can thank Jester for. Most likely Nott as well. 

Then when he manages to get to his place he promptly falls asleep again, this time in a bed.

It's only after a brief shower, shitty attempt at lunch (that makes it two days of skipping breakfast, he should really do something about that) and more laying around trying to get rid of a headache, that he lets himself think about what happened last night. It doesn't take him long since there's not much he can recall. He's not sure if it's a curse or a blessing. 

Probably the former. 

He spends way too much time getting up and finding his phone. Finally, he texts Jester.

 **Fjord** : Did anything happen last night that i should be aware of

 **Jess** : fjord!! good morning!!   
**Jess** : >:) 

 

He is slowly starting to regret this decision.

 

 **Fjord** : Jester. 

 **Jess** : >:3

 **Fjord** : Jester please

 **Jess** : oof fine  
**Jess** : nothing happened   
**Jess** : u guys all got v drunk and molly ended up in ur lap

 **Fjord** : How. Did he end up there

 **Jess** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**Jess** : you were v drunk and u said something like  
**Jess** : ohh u are the most beautiful person ive ever seen~~  
**Jess** : okay it wasnt like that it was way less dramatic youre not that fun  
**Jess** : but it was very cute!! and he kissed your cheek  
**Jess** : then u fell asleep

 

He hopes he'll never have to look Molly in the eyes again. Which is improbable, once Jester befriends someone she keeps them close. 

 

 **Fjord** : Fuck me

 **Jess** : aww u do liiike him~  
**Jess** : oh he also gave u his number, which is completely unnecessary bc i already have it but okay

 **Fjord** : He what

 **Jess** : he wrote it on a sticky paper

 **Fjord** : The what   
**Fjord** : Where 

 **Jess** : u ask too many questions for such early hours :c

 **Fjord** : Its past 2pm

 **Jess** : i think?? u put it in ur jacket   
**Jess** : probably!! 

 

Fjord isn't proud of how fast he stands up to check pockets of said jacket. It smells of cheap alcohol so badly he almost throws up. There is a paper with a number on it, though. 

He picks up his phone again. 

 

 **Fjord** : I found it

 **Jess** : good!! now call him!! 

 **Fjord** : What no

 **Jess** : call him fjord i swear to god  
**Jess** : or text him!!   
**Jess** : he was flirting with u so obviously 

 **Fjord** : I sincerely doubt that but also I cant say I remember much 

 **Jess:**  he was u oblivious dummy   
**Jess** : it was painful   
**Jess** : and thats coming from me  
**Jess** : TALK TO HIM

 **Fjord** : Bye Jester  
**Fjord** : Good luck with hangover Beau  
**Fjord** : And thank you <3

 **Jess** : !!!   
**Jess** : youre welcome!   
**Jess** : <3 <3 <3

 

True to his word, Fjord does not call or text Mollymauk. It bothers him at first, as embarrassed as he is about last night he does find the tiefling rather...interesting. That would be one way of putting it. But then knowing Jester and how quickly she seemed to click with him that most likely won't be the last time he sees Molly. 

He does get a text from Beauregard that's essentially her checking on him while trying to act like she's not checking on him. It's endearing. Fjord knows very well that her hangovers are way worse than his.

***

After that drunken night, time passes rather uneventfully.

One noticeable change is that Yasha and Molly join their little messy friend group, which doesn't happen gradually by any means. It just so happens that Jester drags Yasha with her to their coffee meet up, and Molly tags along as well. Not a weird occurrence, it has been obvious from the start that Molly and Yasha are a package deal. After that no one questions the two of them showing up everywhere else. He can't complain. Both Molly and Yasha seem to get along with the group well.

One Wednesday, soon after the initial meeting, Fjord ends up going to a newly open coffee shop with Jester and Yasha. Jester has this self-made tradition, she absolutely has to see every new shop that opens in their vicinity. She has a list. Sometimes, Fjord is truly amazed by her enthusiasm.

  
It is during that particular coffee when Fjord decides that he really likes Yasha, her calm and steady presence, and how funny she is in a subtle way. Subtle is not something Fjord is used to with people like Jester, Beau and Nott around.  
However another fun thing is, Yasha mentions Mollymauk a lot.

Fjord tries to ignore it, he really does. Tries to not give that funny feeling he gets whenever Yasha mentions her best friend any mind.

  
The curiosity gets better of him. “Where did the two of you meet? Sounds to me like you've known each other for a quite some time,” he asks, ignoring Jester's smirk.

  
“We met about a year ago, I think,” Yasha answers. “At the carnival.”

  
Jester's eyes lit up. “Carnival?”

  
Yasha nods, playing with her empty cup. “We both worked there. Until it uh. Disbanded.”

  
“Oh,” Jester pouts. “That's sad.”

  
“I guess. We're doing fine here. It's nice.”

Fjord hums in agreement. Their company, albeit sudden and unexpected, feels right in a way he couldn't explain.

  
Jester gasps. She reaches and grabs Yasha's arms, a gesture that Fjord can't help but notice makes Yasha blush. It's impossible to hide due to her pale skin. “But does that mean you have stories from the carnival? I can't believe you never mentioned any of this!”

  
The excitement in her voice makes her friend smile. “Yes,“ she confirmes. ”But you should probably ask Molly about those. He's good at telling stories.”

  
Stories are what he's best at, Fjord finds out soon enough.

  
All in all, Molly is pretty much like one might imagine at first sight. Loud, flirty, doesn't seem like he's heard of personal space, practically glowing with the colors he's covered in. Exactly the type of a person Jester would adore and Beau call a 'fucking obnoxious asshole'. Which he definitely is. His ability to sprout bullshit and yet claim that he's always right is something Fjord isn't sure he should admire or hate.

  
He is very good at telling stories, just as Yasha said.

  
The thing he's incredibly bad at is lying.

  
Yet somehow everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie, one that he's aware is not tricking anyone, but Molly sells it with such certainty that it alone could make Fjord believe him. Perhaps if he wasn't such a good liar himself he would.

  
Though the lies aren't what makes Fjord's cheeks burn or his stomach feel funny or– No, he is certain that's not it. Fjord can work with lies. The lingering touches, red eyes on him, that loud laugh, however...

  
There's also Molly's need to leave everyone happy, better than before, to spread as much joy as possible. The fact that as much of an asshole he is he would always make sure they're all doing alright. How much he cares for this weird mess of a group he's been a part of for only a few months. It feels like more.  
And even now, Molly is still regularly at Caduceus' flower shop at Fridays, though there are differences. Nothing too obvious, just the small things, but just enough that Fjord notices. Molly still flirts with him, still jokingly calls him handsome, but his smile is more earnest and the way he says Fjord's name makes his heart beat faster. It's ridiculous.  
He can't say for sure if the tiefling is flirting with him. Well no, that's a lie. He's definitely flirting, but that's what Molly does with pretty much everyone, minus Beau and Nott. He's an affectionate person by nature, kissing Yasha's forehead and Jester's cheek every now and then, draping himself over Fjord and leaning into Caleb, ending up in Caduceus' lap more often than not. Hell, even Beau is a victim of his hugs, a fact that she constantly complains about even though Fjord can tell she doesn't actually mind it. Nott remains wary of him but last week she did let him braid her hair.

  
So it's probably just Fjord's imagination, and possibly wishful thinking, whenever it seems like Molly's hand stays on his shoulder longer, or how his fingers linger softly touching his face after a pat on the cheek, when he feels that gaze on him. It's almost funny how Fjord catches himself doing the same things. And how he doesn't mind Molly's eyes roaming and anticipates the warm touches.

  
That feeling, _that_  Fjord doesn't know what to do with.

***

Winter arrives, along with the copious amount of holiday preparations. It's not even that close to Christmas but Fjord keeps seeing the decorations in the mall.

Jester, Beau and Yasha are getting ready to go visit the well known Ruby of the Sea for Christmas. 

At first it was hard to believe that they had talked Yasha into going with them, even Molly seems surprised, although he tried to hide it. It turns out travelling is kind of Yasha's thing, and she's also never been to Nicodranas, so it's a win win for her. 

Jester is nervous, Fjord can tell. He's not exactly a perceptive person, definitely not like Caduceus, but he knows Jester well enough to see it. She's excited too, and easily hides the anxiety with it. But then the two of them are alone one evening, Jester sipping her milk and refusing Fjord's awful coffee, and it slips out. Just one comment about how she hopes her mom will like friends is enough. He knows her. Jester was his first friend after all. 

“I'm sure she will,” he assures her. “She'll be glad that you're happy.”

Jester hums, absentmindedly playing with her straw. A frown on her face furrows her eyebrows in a way that makes Fjord worried. 

“Jess?”

“Hm?”

“Are you happy?”

Jester looks up at him, still frowning. “I am! It's not that. I'm just...I haven't been at home for so long, it's been years. What if I've changed so much that she doesn't like me anymore?”

The question is barely audible, spoken half under her breath. Perhaps it shouldn't surprise him that much. Jester has always had a fear of being disliked under all that cheerful exterior. His heart still hurts to see her so insecure. 

“She's your mom,” he tries. Fjord knows nothing about mothers, since he's never had one. But in every story he's heard mother's love was always unconditional, undoubtable. He's also heard a lot about Jester's mom, a beautiful tiefling who Jester loves above everything else. And considering the amount of gifts, calls and messages between the two, he's positive her mom loves her just as much. “And she's wonderful, from what I know. She'll always love you, different or not. She'd be crazy not to.” 

He hears Jester hum but her face doesn't shift and she says nothing, still too deep in thought. 

“Hey, Jess,” he reaches across the table and clasps her hand. “It will be alright, I'm sure of it. But even if it doesn't, you'll always have us on your side, okay? You're gonna be alone.”

Jester smiles, relaxing a bit. She refills her mug and they spend the rest of the evening talking shit about Jester's shitty coworker who, according to what Fjord has heard, does not appreciate her cheerful behaviour and has no sense of humour at all.

Before she has left, Jester wraps him in another of her strong hugs. “Thank you. I love you.”

“Love you too, Jester.”

***

The three of them leaving means Fjord's days become unusually calm and empty. Jester still sends messages, pictures of her with Yasha driving in the background, Beau sleeping sprawled across the back seats, the worrying amounts of milkshakes she drinks. 

But it's not the same. They're not _here_. 

It's not that he's completely alone. Caduceus is still here, although he's going to visit his family as well very soon. Caleb, Nott and Molly are still around but it's that time of the year and everyone is busy, and it's impossible to find a time that suits them all. 

It's not necessarily bad, but it's a change and Fjord has a feeling no one amongst them is a big fan of change. He certainly is not. 

The peace and quiet, that Fjord doesn't enjoy nearly as much as he thought he would, is broken by Molly showing up at his doorstep one Saturday, a bag from McDonald's in his hand. 

“If I have to spend another minute alone at my place I'm going to scream,” is what he offers as an explanation. Fjord gladly takes it. 

They end up watching a movie, one of those romantic Christmas movies Beau hates. To be fair, neither of them enjoys it much either. 

It's during yet another cheesy monologue scene that Molly breaks the silence. 

“I'm kinda surprised Yasha was so excited to go. She never really cared about Christmas,” he comments. Fjord wonders if he misses Yasha as much as he misses his two loud assholes. Probably. He's rarely seen Molly without her. 

They both know Yasha's excitement had nothing to do with the holidays. So either that's his way of starting a conversation, or Molly truly misses her a lot. 

“It's hard to look Jester in the eyes and say no,” Fjord says. 

“Mh, true,” Molly smiles and takes a sip of his coffee. With the mug still covering the lower half of his face, he tries to hide the grimace, but with no luck. 

Fjord grins knowingly. “It's horrible?”

“Yep,” he puts the mug in his lap, then quickly lifts it up when it burns him. “Jester told me you make _magical_  coffee and that I should _totally_  try it, I should have known.”

“Thought you were smarter than that.”

“Me?” Molly snorts. “ _Please_.”

“I can drink it if you won't,” he offers. It wasn't meant to be a challenge but Molly certainly sees it as one. He finishes the coffee, looking Fjord in the eyes the whole time. When he's done he sets the mug on the table, disgust still apparent on his face. “So how come you're not somewhere with your family?”

Molly shrugs. “Didn't feel like it.” 

It's a very obvious lie but Fjord doesn't push it. He's noticed, during the time they've been friends, how often Molly mentions his family and yet never offers more information about them when asked. His mother who works as a tattoo artist. His father who taught him to swim by just dropping him in the water. His sister who plays a violin and taught him how to play. But there's never much beyond that, he's never heard Molly play, Molly has never showed them a photo or given any kind of indication that those people exist except his occasional mentions. It's either brushed off or he just gives them a bad lie. It is a rather curious occurrence. 

Perhaps if it was someone else they wouldn't all silently decide it's all lies, but this is Molly and they're used to him bullshiting his way through life. 

Fjord decides not to pry. After all, of their small group only Caduceus has a healthy family and Jester a loving mother. Beauregard never mentioned her mother as long as Fjord has known her and speaks of her father only if it's absolutely necessary, always with disdain, Nott never speaks of the place she's from, and there is something about Caleb's family that makes him shut down whenever they're talking about parents. He can't tell much about Yasha since she, once again in a contrast to her best friend, never mentions any family or place she's from. 

That's okay. Fjord has learned much by being a part of so called Mighty Nein, one of those things being not to poke other's wounds. 

“Why aren't you?” Molly asks suddenly. Then he frowns, seemingly recalling what little the half-orc has told them about his childhood. “Ah. Never mind.” 

Fjord snorts. “Didn't feel like it.”

“Oh fuck off,” he laughs. “I'm sorry, I forgot.”

“S'okay.”

They keep attempting to watch the movie. It's horrible, the acting is bad and the plot is weak but there's nothing better on. Fjord keeps glancing at the tiefling next to him, the mocking faces he makes as a reaction far more entertaining than the actual movie.

He's half asleep when Molly's voice shakes him awake. 

“Is it actually that pretty?” he asks, squinting at the TV screen as the two protagonists have an overly dramatic discussion outside, thick show falling around them. “Or is it like, just movie effects making it look more magical for the atmosphere or some bullshit?”

It takes Fjord a moment to register the words and then a moment to figure out what is Molly talking about. “The snow?”

“Yeah, all the white shit.”

“You've never seen snow?” 

Molly shrugs. “Not really. It's very warm where I come from.”

It's an another lie. Fjord finds it almost funny how bad at it he is. He has his tells, his expression is way too relaxed even for him, his tail goes suspiciously still. 

Fjord glances at Molly from the corner of his eye, the tiefling's eyes glued to the screen. He seems fascinated by the snow, which is something Fjord can understand. 

“It is pretty magical. It'll probably snow later this year, you'll see,” he says, recalling the memory of the first snowfall he'd seen in this town. Everything about it had left him dumbstruck. Where he grew up snow was a rarity, he's seen more of it in a few years here than during his life before. And what he's seen of it before was scarce, snowflakes melting almost immediately as they hit the ground. “I spent most of my life at the coast and the sea, there's not much snow there either. You lived close to the sea too?”

“Mhm. It's nice.”

Fjord just barely suppresses a snort. 

They settle in a comfortable silence after that. The dim buzz of the movie and warmth radiating from the tiefling next to him is slowly lulling Fjord to sleep. He doesn't make it to the end of the movie, eventually drifting off to sleep during one of the commercial breaks. 

He wakes up in the middle of a night to an empty room and a note on the table. 

 _Thanks_ <3

***

Christmas isn't something Fjord has ever been especially psyched about. He doesn't know much about it either. What he does know is that it's essentially supposed to be a family holiday, and since he has no actual family he has no plans either. 

That is, until he gets a text from Nott at Christmas Eve, telling him to come over to her and Caleb's place. Fjord is more glad for it than he ever thought he'd be. 

He hopes they called Molly too, Fjord knows he hates being alone. 

“Didn't think you two celebrated Christmas,” he comments as Caleb lets him in. 

“We don't really,” the human says, worriedly glancing in the direction their kitchen. They both wince as they hear what sounds like a few glasses breaking, accompanied with Nott swearing and Molly laughing. It's a lovely sound. “But Nott suggested calling you two over. Apparently I'm alone too much and all that. But also she is getting bored without Jester around, I think.”

Fjord can relate. “It is real quiet without her and Beau.”

The two of them make their way to the small, messy living room, which is connected to the kitchen. Nott is crouched on the floor there, in the process of shoving broken class under the counters. Hopefully someone will take care of that later. 

“What is broken?” Caleb asks. Not sounding upset, just genuinely curious. Like he's making a mental list of things they'll have to go buy soon. 

Nott successfully pushes the last piece of glass underneath. “Nothing! Nothing is broken.”

Fjord hears Molly snort from his place on the couch. Weirdly enough, he's holding a mug full of something that doesn't seem to be alcohol. 

Oh. He knows that smell. 

“Is that tea? Deucey gave you tea?” Fjord asks. Molly nods. “You do know where that comes from, right?”

“Plants?” Molly asks, amused.

“It's dead people tea, Molls.”

Molly stares blankly at him. Like he's the one drinking tea from graves. “What.”

“He makes it from plants that grow out of graves.”

Molly's mouth drops a bit and he looks like he's about to set the mug down, then changes his mind last second and keeps the tea. Aside, Nott snickers. Of course she didn't tell Molly anything about it. 

“I'm not sure is that very cool or just very weird,” Molly says. 

“Weird. It's weird,” Fjord insists. 

“Well then!” he flashes him a bright grin. “Good thing I am too. Cheers!”

Fjord cringes as Molly drinks more of his tea. If Beau were here she'd make a comment about Fjord's disastrous coffee, how he has no right to talk shit about the dead people tea. He firmly disagrees. 

To be fair Fjord has tried Caduceus' tea only once, and while the taste itself wasn't bad at all the knowledge of it's origin was too much. 

Turns out the reason Molly, and Nott as he later notices, are not tipsy already is because Caleb has banned alcohol for the night. That itself is a warning sign, things are bad when Caleb has to be the voice of reason. Reason for the absence of alcohol being that usually they had Jester and Yasha with them, one person who doesn't drink at all and the other who can hold her alcohol damn well. So they would make sure no one causes too big of a ruckus while drunk, which wouldn't be unusual for this group. 

Both are absent at the moment. Hence no alcohol. 

Molly gives Nott a reading in attempt to distract her from the lack of booze. She accuses him of bullshiting, which is fair, it is his trademark, though she still looks interested enough to pay attention. Or perhaps she's just that bored. They keep arguing about the cards and meanings while Fjord wonders without how many of those is Molly going to walk out. Turns out he's underestimating the tiefling's perception because Molly asks Nott for his cards the moment she decides she has had enough of listening him. After the two of them settle that and Molly has all his cards back, Caleb, for some godforsaken reason, suggests Monopoly. 

“No,” Fjord groans. “Even I need alcohol for that. Please.”

“Oh no, that's a great idea,” Molly says, devilish grin on his face. Fjord squints at him. 

“That's because you always cheat.”

“ _Please_. You can't cheat at Monopoly!”

“Yet y'all still somehow manage it.”

Molly smirks and shrugs extravagantly. “It's a game of cheating and stealing! Why do you think Nott always wins at it?”

Nott nods. She's already halfway towards the place they keep the game. 

“Caleb, why,” Fjord pleads. “That never ends well.”

All he gets is an apologetic look from him as Nott and Molly start preparing the game. 

Molly nudges his shoulder. “It's that or Uno.”

Monopoly it is.

The game goes as well as one might expect. An hour in Fjord gets up from the table. 

“Yeah, I'm done. This is real bullshit,” he mutters, walking towards the balcony. “You folks have fun cheating, I'm gonna get some air.”

“That's rich, coming from a man who just lost,” Nott says, clearly pleased with herself as she counts all her money, including the part that was Fjord's just seconds ago. 

Fjord resists the urge to be petty and leaves them to the game. If they continue like this, Molly is most likely the next one out. 

He leans on the rail of the tiny balcony and breathes in the cold air. The night sky is clear, stars visible along with the crescent moon. Down on the street he can see people walking in a hurry. On a balcony across the street sit three people drinking and loudly talking, and he can dimly hear more voices coming from above. 

Caleb and Nott's balcony is decorated with multicolored Christmas lights that keep blinking. Since neither of them are religious, he guesses those were placed there by Nott due to her love for various trinkets. Though he doubts he wants to know where she got them. Except for the lights, the space is crowded by all kinds of knickknacks, also most likely brought there by Nott, and a bunch of Caleb's books. 

Coming from the inside are unmistakable sounds of Nott and Molly bickering. 

Few peaceful seconds later, he hears the sound of doors opening and a feeling of warmth spreads from the inside. 

“Come to join the losers club?” Fjord asks, enjoying the way his breath becomes visible in the cold. The snow and cold air isn't quite a new thing for him anymore, having spent a few years in the city, but it never gets old. Seeing snow always feels like the first time. 

The jingle of jewelry behind is enough for him to know who has walked outside. 

Molly comes to lean on the wall aside, that awful extravagant coat on. Every time he sees it Fjord wonders where the hell he found the thing. The thought of Molly somehow sewing it himself is impressive, while the visual of him seeing it in a store and deciding that yes, that is indeed something he wants to wear, is kind of scary. But very Mollymauk. Fjord can appreciate that. 

There's an unusual tension in the air that he's never quite felt around Molly. He peers at the tiefling form the corner of his eye. He isn't looking at him, decidedly staring at the blinking lights instead. The reflection of the lights in his eyes makes them look funny, it's like they're blinking as well. 

Finally, Molly rolls his eyes and speaks up. 

“So. I might have lied. About the family thing.” Fjord cannot resist a scoff. Molly glares at him, though the expression lacks heat. 

“*No* ,” Fjord gasps in mock surprise. “You _wouldn't_.”

Molly huffs out a laugh, nervously tugging at strands of purple hair in his face. It strikes Fjord as wrong somehow. Molly doesn't strike him as a person who get nervous often. He's certainly never seen Molly nervous before. 

“You don't have to tell me,” he assures. “We all have things we'd rather keep to ourselves. I get that.”

The sound Molly makes could've been an 'I don't know' or a some swear word in Infernal, and he sounds a bit annoyed, like he still isn't quite sure what he wants to say. 

“It's weird with you people. I don't, like,” he gestures around, bracelets clinking in unison. “Feel like I have to lie. I definitely will but... You know?”

Fjord knows. His childhood had been full of pretending, from filling down his tusks to later changing accents, personalities, and at the end faces, complete appearances. To fit in. To please others. To get what he wants. To feel more comfortable in his skin. But is it really his skin if it's a lie? 

Here, with them, he never has to pretend. Never has to lie. It took him some time to get to that point and at times it's still difficult, similar to how reminding himself to leave his tusks alone is difficult, but it's better. He's getting there. 

“Yeah,” he mutters. “I get that.”

Molly raises an eyebrow, seemingly not expecting that. Despite his nonchalant appearance he does seem relieved. 

“There's no family I could go to,” he adds, playing with the numerous bracelets. For a proclamation as heavy as that, it sounds rather lighthearted coming from him. There's no obvious sadness or emotion worth mentioning. He's simply stating a fact. 

Still, it makes something in Fjord stomach twist uncomfortably. 

“I'm sorry.”

Molly shakes his head. “Oh no, they're not dead or anything. They just don't exist.”

“Molly, of all your bullshit I've heard, this is–”

“The truth,” he insists. “There's more to it but I don't feel like ruining the festive mood we've got going on right now.” 

Fjord sighs and nods. Such festive mood. “Fair. Weird. But fair.”

In the corner of his eye he sees Molly smile. He's obviously satisfied with how the conversation went. It's by far the most serious one they've had, Fjord thinks. Still he feels as if he's being played with. 

“I don't know if you've noticed but we're not as clueless as you may think,” he says, purposely not looking at Molly but at the balcony across the street, where a few people are drunkenly singing. “We can see through your bullshit.”

Molly hums. “What a shame.”

Once again it's supposed to sound nonchalant, but Fjord can hear an edge of uncertainty. Everything always feels like just a tip of the iceberg with Molly.  

The wind picks up. There's a loud, unmistakable sound of a bottle being shattered against the floor from the street underneath. 

“I do like my bullshit though,” the tiefling says, after some time of comfortable silence. “Don't think that's all just because I usually feel like I have to lie. I don't.” 

Fjord doesn't have to look at him to know he's telling the truth this time. Partially at least. 

He wishes he could be so sure, so adamant that no one has more power over him than he himself. It's something he has always liked about Mollymauk, even before they truly met. The way he carries himself. Confident, never letting others shape his opinions and ways of living. And perhaps it's not always a good thing, to be so sure that you're right all the time, but he wishes he had only a bit of it. 

Beau commented once, during an especially bad night when they had gotten drunk in their then shared apartment, how Fjord seems confident enough. It left him with a bitter feeling that he wasn't able to define at the time, only to later realise that in this case it doesn't matter how other's perceive him as long as he can't feel that confidence himself. And the times he feels it are rare. 

“I'm glad,” he answers honestly, settling his gaze on Molly and trying not to get lost in those warm eyes. 

Molly grins, fangs glinting in the moonlight. “Good. Now if we're done with the awful honesty talk, you gotta hear what Jester texted me today.”

So Molly talks. It's a story Fjord knows, since Jester is a very excitable person and shares everything with all of them immediately. Occasionally he interrupts Molly just to get a kick out of it. Each time he gets smacked by his tail, the tiefling knowing exactly what he's doing. But it would be a lie if he said he didn't enjoy listening Molly ramble, so as he eventually runs out of smartass comments, he's content to just listen Molly talk, which he continues even when he's finished Jester's story. 

Warm tail gently wraps around Fjord's forearm. Not an unusual behaviour for Molly, he's a quite tactile person, though Fjord still feels himself blush. Thankfully it's dark enough outside so it's not noticeable. Or at least he hopes so. 

The dim light that's coming from the decorations makes Molly's eyes look even brighter, something Fjord didn't think was possible. Do tiefling's eyes *glow* in the dark? Jester's do not, but Molly's seem to, and well. It's just one more way in which Molly is similar to a cat. 

Soon enough Caleb and Nott join them outside, Nott having won the game as she usually does, and the human with a cup of Caduceus' tea. They easily join the conversation, with Caleb mostly listening, curled up on a chair in the corner. It's rare to see him so content and relaxed. 

Fjord isn't sure how long they stay there but as time passes he notices that there's no more noise coming from the balcony above, people singing from across the street have also disappeared inside, and there's barely anyone walking down the street.  

The snow begins falling. He looks at Molly just in time to see his face breaking in a delighted grin. He catches Fjord's gaze for a second, then goes back to admiring snow. 

“You were right,” Molly murmurs. “It really is magical.”

His tail stays wrapped around Fjord's arm the entire time. 

***

A day after Christmas Fjord wakes up to find that Jester and Beau have come home and, by default, crashed at his apartment to say hello. While they were waiting for him to wake up they ate all his chips. He doesn't even mention it, too busy being suffocated by Jester's hugs. It's the best gift he could've gotten. 

***

Despite the obvious signs and constant teasing from his friends, it takes Fjord way too long to realise how he feels about Mollymauk. It doesn't happen during that Christmas night, not even a month later. They've been friends for about a year when it finally hits him, and by then it's grown well past the simple attraction. 

It seems fitting that it happens during yet another Friday when Molly arrives at the shop. 

That day is also the first time he sees Molly truly looking like shit. 

Not physically, Fjord has seen Molly looking like a mess, hair tangled and clothes obviously thrown on just to get out to buy something. Fuck, he's been with him and Beau when they showed up at his place completely shit-faced in the middle of a night, because his place was the closest and they thankfully weren't dumb enough to drive drunk. Also, they were both just terrible drivers. 

Nonetheless, he's never seen him look so worn and tired. He's gotten used to Molly's energetic way of walking in, the bright grin or at least a smirk on his face. Except the abundance of all that, there's almost no jewelry on his horns that they have all gotten so used to seeing on him, and there is only one ring on his hand that he keeps fidgeting with. For a person he's seen literally sleeping with a bunch of jewelry, it is beyond unusual. He even sounds tired, too quiet as he greets Fjord, no smartass comments or flirting. It's all so distinctly not Molly, always so loud and bright no matter what he's doing. 

It makes Fjord's heart sink. 

This is not his business, he tries to reason with himself as Molly tells him what flowers he's getting. He won't meddle in someone else's problems uninvited. They're friends and if Molly wanted to talk about it he would. Of all people at least he isn't the type to stay quiet if he has something to say. 

But then he's arranging a bouquet of marigolds and trying not to steal glances at his friend, who keeps twisting the ring around his finger anxiously, and there's a need to do _something_ to try and comfort him. It's probably dumb, but it's worth a try. Even if it doesn't help he doubts Molly would be upset with him. 

“Here,” he says, placing two bouquets next to each other. 

Molly takes a second, looks at the sunflowers that he did not mention and his eyebrows furrow. “I didn't–”

“Those are for you,” Fjord stammers. At Molly's confused look he tries to explain. “You look like you're having a shit day.” 

It's kind of an insult but Molly doesn't seem to mind. His eyes are wide and still fixed at the flowers. In that moment he looks completely taken aback and Fjord feels smug about it, having their roles finally reversed. 

But he gains his composure soon enough, because bad day or not, it is Mollymauk after all. He rests his elbows on the counter and smirks. If nothing else at least he seems more in his element. 

“Why, Fjord dear,” he's practically purring and Fjord hates what that voice does to him. “Are you attempting something here?”

“Just making sure you're okay, is all,” he says, very aware of blood rushing to cheeks, even more aware that there's no way Molly won't notice this time. 

A slender hand reaches over the counter and he feels a light touch of fingertips on his forearm. The touch is just barely there but Fjord still feels like his skin is burning, which is absurd since Molly just got from the outside and his hands are freezing cold. 

Molly's half lidded gaze slides to the half-orc's scarred lips, and right then there's nothing Fjord wants more than to kiss that smirk of his face.

And fuck isn't *that* a thought. 

The moment passes as Caduceus comes in from the back door, carrying some sort of a package. The firbolg either doesn't notice or decides to ignore the tension in the air as Molly takes a step back. His hand lingers for a bit longer. 

Fjord ignores the pang of disappointment in his chest. 

He averts his gaze, looking everywhere but at the tiefling in front of him. 

“More than okay,” Molly waves back at Caduceus as the firbolg leaves the room. What were they talking about again? “Thank you, though. You're, uh. That's very– Thanks.” 

He's not looking at him, but Fjord can imagine a frustrated furrow of Molly eyebrows as he stumbles over his own words. It provides some comfort, the fact that perhaps he's not the only nervous wreck here. It also gives Fjord a chance to get a hold of himself.

But then when the initial embarrassment fades and Fjord looks up, Molly's gaze is already settled on him, his cheeks a darker shade of purple, and Fjord is hit with a dawning realisation that probably should have hit him way earlier. 

He has the most annoying, ridiculous crush on Mollymauk. And he's never going to hear the end of this from Beau and Jester. 

So much for getting a hold of himself. 

“It's nothing. You're here every week after all, what's a few more flowers,” Fjord rambles. The bouquet of marigolds that Molly originally asked for catches his eye and in the middle of his panic he remembers how all of this started. “What are all these for anyway? I've been meaning to ask you.” _For over a year. Good job._   

Molly blinks up at him. “What?”

“The flowers,” he says, gesturing at the bouquets. “It's been like a year since you and Yasha moved here, right? And you've been coming here every damn week. Not that I mind, I just thought, y'know. It's a lot of damn flowers.”

Fuck. Shit. That's _horrible_. 

“Oh. These are for Yasha actually,” Molly says, thankfully not noticing a crisis Fjord is having. “She loves flowers, you know that. She has a whole tiny garden and everything.” 

Fjord keeps looking at him, waiting for the rest, but Molly doesn't offer anything else. 

“That's all?”

“Should there be more?” he asks, like he's never questioned it. Which, Fjord figures, he probably hasn't. He's known Molly for long enough for that to make perfect sense. As much of an arrogant asshole he can be, Molly gives his all to make those close to him happy. Especially Yasha. If his friend likes flowers, he'll just buy her flowers. Every damn week. 

It seems ridiculously simple now. 

Fjord thinks about Beau reminding him of appointments she knows he'll forget about, while rarely giving a shit about her own. Jester who somehow always knows when he's having a bad day and gets even more affectionate, makes sure he knows she's there. 

“No,” he decides and gives Molly a smile that he hopes is reassuring. “You're very kind, Molls. She's happy to have a friend like you.”

Mollymauk looks at him, expression unreadable. It's rather unusual for someone usually so expressive and straightforward with his emotions. It's like he's not quite sure what to think. In the end he just grins. 

“Yeah, I know,” he says, chin resting on his elbows against the counter. “But do tell me more about how nice I am, handsome seaman.”

He is so fucked. 

***

 **Fjord** : You were right I hate it and I need your help

 **Jess** : owo  
**Jess** : what happened??? 

 **Fjord** : You were right about Molly  
**Fjord** : Just. Dont be smug about it

 **Jess** : :o   
**Jess** : so you admit it!!!!   
**Jess** : i won!!

 **Fjord** : ? 

 **Jess** : Beau said you'll never admit it  
**Jess** : but you just did!!! i won the bet!!! 

 **Fjord** : ... 

 **Jess** : :3!!! 

 **Fjord** : Im kinda offended that you bet about my feelings but. Not surprised. What did you bet on

 **Jess** : :3

 **Fjord** : Youre right I don't wanna know

 **Jess** : okay okay okay anyways what do you need help for tho!! 

 **Fjord** : Right. What am I like. Supposed to do with this

 **Jess** : with molly?? are u asking me for tiefling sex advice  
**Jess** : because i can give u plenty  
**Jess** : wait i have a v good link 

 **Fjord** : ???? Jester no I mean with the fact that i have feelings for him fucking hell dont send me that please

 **Jess** : oh  
**Jess** : too bad :(  
**Jess** : um like tell him?? you know. talk  
**Jess** : youre good at that

 **Fjord** : Jester that would ruin everything I cant do that 

 **Jess** : ?? it wouldnt??   
**Jess** : youd be together and happy and we can go on double dates 

 **Fjord** : Thats all wishful thinking   
**Fjord** : Like have you seen Molly? 

 **Jess** : its v hard not to hes shiny

 **Fjord** : He's so goddamn shiny   
**Fjord** : The point is I dont wanna ruin the group dynamic and a friendship bc of a dumb crush on someone that I have no chance with

 **Jess** : ....   
**Jess** : im gonna try to skip the part where i yell at you about how v handsome and a great person you are and how hes already been flirting w/ u

 **Fjord** : As he does with everyone

 **Jess** : im skipping that part!!! dont interrupt the expert!!   
**Jess** : anyways!! dont think abt the group dynamic and what not for fucks sake fjord  
**Jess** : were not babies we can handle a little awkwardness    
**Jess** : think about what do you want

***

Mollymauk has always been an enigma. The tiefling is a well-known liar and yet there's more truth to him than most people Fjord had met in his life. There's so much he knows about him but still so little, and every time he thinks he has him all figured out a new question pops up. 

Now that he's aware of his feelings for Molly everything in his head seems so much more complicated. It's like he had a puzzle, was kind of getting close to solving it, but then someone dumped another bunch of puzzle pieces on his head. 

Now this isn't just a question of is Molly flirting with him or is that just what he's like, because now Fjord is aware of how badly he _hopes_  that Molly is flirting with him. It's not about what is a lie and what is the truth just out of curiosity, but out of a wish to know him better, and perhaps not just in a friendly way. 

All of that aside, Fjord can't see why would someone like Molly want anything to do with him.

Which is a whole another thing to ponder on, his own damn insecurities that he apparently is not over. Even after all that time. 

It's infuriating, how even when he thinks he's done with self-hatred, done wishing he could change aspects of himself, it starts all over again out of nowhere. There's this small issue that pushes him right over the edge and he's thrust into that same mindset and frankly he's so, so tired of it. 

Fjord decides it's not a big deal. There's just this disgusting feeling settled in his stomach that won't leave him alone, but it's not the first time, he can deal with it. He knows that if he called someone of his friends they would be there, like he has been for them, like they have always been for him. Hell, he has promised Jester that if he ever felt especially shitty, wanted to mess with his teeth again or anything similar really, he'd call. But he had bothered Jester already and she tried to help, so he doesn't. 

Instead he starts a show Beau recommended him, and with Beau 'recommended' means that she yelled about it until he said he'll give it a try, then yelled about it some more. Fjord tried to listen, he really did, but the only thing he caught was something about gay pirates. Sounds good enough to shake the bad thoughts off his mind, at least for that day.

Like she knew he thought of her, Beauregard crashes at his place just when Fjord is about to start the third episode. She isn't drunk and has no new bruises visible, though she does look like she's having a bad day. She's frowning even more than usual and doesn't even try to steal his lunch. Fuck, she doesn't even complain when he lets her know there's no beer left. All that combined is worrying. This week seems to be going pretty badly for everyone.

“So, what's this about?” Fjord asks after few more weirdly quiet moments. “Did Nott beat you in a drinking contest and your pride is wounded or?”

“No, fuck I wish,” she groans. Just a groan. No 'fuck you' or 'fuck off'. Now that's really worrying. 

“What is it then?”

Beau lets out another groan and drags a hand through her hair. “So, you know how I've been trying to ask Yasha out? Like for some time now.”

Oh boy. 

“Yeah. What about it? I thought you said things were going well.”

“Well yeah, sure, I thought so too, right? And apparently I wasn't doing anything wrong it's just...” she trails off. “I talked to her yesterday. About the whole dating thing. Or I guess, I just made it more obvious that I was interested in her that way, and she wanted to let me know she's not up for it. Which is fair. I appreciate the honesty.”

Well, shit. That's not something Fjord knows how to help her with. Does she want help? Or just comfort? He's not sure, he's also not sure how to offer either of it. 

“I'm...really sorry. That's tough.”

“Nah, it's okay. I'm not actually that bummed about it?” she doesn't sound so sure. Fjord gives her a doubtful look. “Okay, I am kinda, but it's not about her not wanting to date. She told me– actually no, I don't think it's on me to tell that to you.”

“Alright?”

“But basically, she has her reasons for not being ready for a relationship, and that's fine. That's not what's bothering me,” Beau sighs and rubs the side of her head. It's obvious she's nervous, probably not about talking to Fjord but about whatever it is that has been bothering her. Her hands are folded one second and the other she's fidgeting with her hair tie, gaze glued on her hands as she seems to sink into the couch even more if possible. It is not a good look on her, Fjord decides. “We all know I've never been too subtle about having a thing Yasha. She's picked up on it pretty fast too. And now that she's told me about all that I'm...I just can't stop thinking about it. Do you think I was bothering her? With flirting and all that?” Her arms fold again, eyes stubbornly fixed on the floor. “I don't want to make her uncomfortable, you know? Crush or not, she's my friend and I don't wanna fuck that up. And I always fuck shit up so what if i already did? Fuck!”

She grabs a nearby pillow and crushes it beneath her arms. If she was more gentle about it, one might call it a hug. With Beau it looks more like she's trying to suffocate the thing. 

Fjord thinks about it, about all times he's seen Beau make a move on Yasha. He can't remember Yasha outright reciprocating her flirting, but there was not a time when she had seemed annoyed either. Amused sometimes, perhaps even flattered. But never a negative response. He's not the best at reading people, thankfully Yasha's lying skills are pretty damn bad too. 

“Honestly, I don't think she ever minded it? At least not enough to be upset.”

Beau looks up at him, still with a frown on her face. The pillow is still being crushed to death. “Really?”

“Really,” he nods. He knows he's not being much of a help but he hopes it's reassuring enough. At least a little bit. “Have you told her any of this?” 

Beau shoots him a glare. Of course not, what a question. Healthy communication instead of bottling shit up? What a concept. 

“What are you gonna do about it?” he asks. 

“Back off, give her space,” she says, shrugging. “That's not the problem.” There's still that crease between her brows but that aside she does seem a bit more relaxed. She lessens the grip on the pillow, now actually hugging it closer to her chest. 

Fjord gently swats her shoulder. “That's real mature of you.”

“Obviously, I am a perfectly functioning adult,” Beau punches his shoulder. Not gently. But her voice is quiet when she adds: “You think I'm doing okay?”

“You're doin' great.”

“Thanks man.” 

Fjord just pats her back and turns on the TV. He doesn't watch it often but it makes for a nice noise in the background, which helps during awkward conversations. He really hopes they're done with those for a day. 

Turns out they're not. 

“So, what's going on with you and the obnoxious bastard over there?” Beau asks. If her smirk is anything to go by, she's happy that they've left the previous topic alone. Fjord Her feet thump on the wooden coffee table, ignoring the empty mug left there. It wouldn't be the first one she has broken in his home. 

Fjord kind of wants to yell, not at Beau but just at things in general, though he feels that might give him away. He just rubs his forehead. “What exactly did Jester tell you?”

“Nothing. But _you_  just did,” she grins triumphantly. Then she seems to realise what that means, her face morphing into an expression of both fear and excitement. Kind of. “Shit. This means Jester won our bet. Shit! Now you have to tell me everything, I'm in a bad mood.”

“Fuck you. We are not having this conversation.” Why does he have a feeling that's a sentence he uses quite often while talking to Beau? Not to mention how it never works. 

“Oh we _so_  are. Come on dude. I just bared my heart to you and went all mushy about my love problems, your turn now.”

“What makes you think I have love problems? I so do not by the way.”

“Sure thing. So, _Molly_ ,” she grimaces. It seems to be her usual reaction to Mollymauk in this context. “I still don't get what you see in that jerk.”

“I'm sorry, are we still having this conversation? I don't wanna have this conversation.”

“I know, but I insist. Like, okay, I'm really trying here. Give me your perspective man. What is it about that bright ball of gaudiness that makes you hard? Like genuinely what the fu–”

“Please stop right there.”

Beau raises an eyebrow. “Okay?”

Fjord sighs in relief. A temporary one, he's sure, but it's something nonetheless. 

About two seconds pass before Beau nudges him. “Dude. I thought you were gonna answer me.”

“Nah, I just wanted you to stop. And no that hasn't changed in the last few seconds.”

Beau throws her arms in the air. “It's a genuine question! I swear I'm not doing this just to fuck with you,” Fjord glares at her half heartedly, and gets a shrug in return. “Only a bit.”

Still holding the glare, Fjord attempts to push Beau's leg off the table and away from his mug. She doesn't budge. He carries it to the kitchen. There aren't many left, in fact he's in that predicament mostly because of her. Before, Beau had her own mugs here that she kept breaking in various ways. Then she jumped over to Fjord's as she ran out of hers. Now he's in desperate need for more since it is only a matter of time when she'll destroy the rest of them, even if she's not living here anymore.

“Anyhow. There's nothing worth talking about here,” he insists and flops on the couch next to her. There isn't much he could tell her that she doesn't know already. She's actually been the first one to call him out, back when he had only just met Molly and the whole thing was simply about physical attraction and a bit of curiosity. So this would, in Fjord's opinion, be a rather pointless conversation. 

Beau doesn't seem to agree with that. “That would be the case if we were talking about his looks exclusively, because that I could forgive you, I guess, but this is more than that right? *Or* you lied to Jester and I won our bet. Which, how *dare* you, but also please tell me I won that bet.”

“Sorry.”

“ _Dammit_ Fjord!” she grits out, then grumbles under her breath. “Useless bisexual.”

“I'll remember that next time you need a ride somewhere.”

Beau throws a pillow right in his face. 

In the end, it's not such a horrible day.

***

Next time Fjord talks to Mollymauk is about a week later on one cold, rainy Thursday night. Or more like Friday morning. 

Molly is the one who initiates it. Sort of. 

Outside of Fjord's warm apartment the thunder is rumbling, a raging storm not stopping since midday. He can't say he's a fan of storms. Ever since the ship incident he finds nothing in it but bad memories. But at least the sound of rain pattering against the windows is still soothing. 

Around 2am when Fjord is halfway through the second season of the show Beau recommended, the characters finally making more sense, he sees his phone light up. He groans, props himself up with his elbows and just barely manages to get his phone from the table without it falling to the floor. A small victory. 

He squints as his phone lights up. 

 **Molls** : are u awake? 

Fjord rereads the message three times to make sure he's not imaging it. Jester or Beau would make more sense, since he knows they're often awake at impossible times. But more importantly they're people he regularly talks to, while he and Molly never texted much out of the group chat Jester made, so he really can't think of any reason why Molly might text him so suddenly at such weird time.

 **Fjord** : Yes? 

He waits for an answer, having seen Molly's fast replies in the group chat. The tiefling always has his phone with him, either typing or just turning it around in his hands. 

The familiar three dots show up but quickly disappear. Then nothing. 

He leaves the phone close at hand and attempts to continue the episode, but with no luck. He keeps stealing glances at his phone even though he knows it will vibrate when he gets a message. There's really no reason to keep looking at it. Annoyed with both himself and Molly, he puts it under the pillow and ignores the urge to check for a new message. 

Few minutes later he hears a loud knock at the front door. 

Who the _fuck_. 

Begrudgingly, he gets up, flinches at the another crack of thunder and drags himself to the front door. 

He opens it to find Mollymauk there, soaked to the skin, grinning sheepishly at him. That hideous technicolored coat is hanging off of him completely wet. Fjord is cold just by looking at him. 

Perhaps he should have connected the dots. Molly texting him during the wee hours of the morning, asking if he's awake, and then someone knocking at his door. But it is 2am and he's tired and having a shitty week, he can be forgiven for the confusion. 

He collects himself and stands aside to let Molly in. “Molly? What the hell?” 

“Hey, um,” he makes a face like he's about to sneeze but doesn't. His nose is scrunched up in a way that might have been cute if he wasn’t freezing, and he keeps trying and is utterly failing to hide how badly he's shivering. “So I might have...uh. I'll explain, could you–”

“Get _in_ already you– god,” Fjord ushers him inside. “What the fuck are you doing outside?”

Molly makes a confused noise but gets in, arms wrapped around himself. “You know I was just gonna ask you to give me a ride home but this is fine as well.”

“Molly, what the _fuck_?” Fjord repeats and closes the door. “There's a storm outside!”

The tiefling gestures at his soaked clothes. “I am aware. So I'm guessing I owe you an explanation–”

“You'll owe me an explanation when you're not freezing in wet clothes you absolute idiot.”

“Okay,” he manages to sneeze. “I can't say that doesn't sound good.”

“Jeez,” Fjord sighs, pointing at the door across them. “There's a bathroom. Go get that off yourself before you get sick. I'll find you something to wear.”

“Yes, okay. Thank you!”

Still attempting to get himself out of that sleepy 'been watching a show for an entire day and have barely moved from the couch' mode, Fjord goes to find something for Molly to wear. He tries not to think too much about the tiefling in his clothes as he retreats to the living room. 

He's suddenly very aware of an old shirt he has on, the fact that he's only wearing boxers and has not showered in a day and probably smells bad. Which is all normal considering it's past 2am, he isn't supposed to look good he's supposed to be asleep. 

However, here's Molly. That motherfucker.

Fjord drags himself to the kitchen to make tea for him. Alcohol is usually Molly's preferred drink, but tea seems more reasonable in this situation. For a moment he debates making some coffee for himself but decides against it. He'll never fall asleep that way. 

It's not that he finds this bothersome. On the contrary, he will gladly help a friend out when needed, and it's not like he was actually sleeping anyway. It's just that this is Molly of all his friends, who he kind of has a thing for and still hasn't completely made peace with that fact. The feelings are almost impossible to ignore, and that entire mess in his head is becoming very tiring. But he is not ready to face this just yet. 

He thinks about what Jester said. 

What does he want? For these feelings to disappear. To stop feeling like he's not good enough and calm down for just a moment. To kiss Molly's lovely purple lips. 

A muffled voice coming from the bathroom shakes him out of his gloomy thoughts. 

“So, what happened is–” Molly starts but is cut off a loud thump, sounding like a soap bottle falling in the sink. “ _Fuck_. Okay so, I'm getting off work, there's a storm outside but that's fine because I have a car, right? No! Because the shitty thing won't start! Of course! That thing is older than me. So I thought okay, this is fine, I am an adult and I've got this shit under control, I'm gonna take a bus or something. Which didn't happen, as you can see, because they don't drive this late. Or at least that's what I've been told. But then I realise that you live here.”

Fjord scoffs fondly at his rant. “And what made you so sure I'll be awake at this hour?”

“I had to take my chances, that's why I messaged you beforehand. By the way,” there's a sound of doors opening and Molly's voice becomes clearer. Before Fjord has a moment to process it he walks into the room completely naked, obviously not bothered by this in the least. “Beau was being a bitch again and she dared me, and I might hate her but I'm not about to back down from a dare–”

“You can take that towel on the door,” Fjord says hurriedly, trying to ignore Molly walking around his home naked, keeping his eyes at the tea he's making. 

“Hm? I mean I'm fine but– oh okay. Thanks.”

Fjord turns around just as Molly is standing just outside of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. He grabs the clothes he got for him. 

“You can borrow these,” he hands him the hoodie and sweatpants, as the almost naked tiefling leisurely walks into the living room. “I'll put your stuff somewhere to dry.” 

Molly murmurs a thanks. Before he has time to go change, Fjord shoves a mug of tea in his hand. 

“It's just regular tea, not the dead people one,” he says. Molly snorts and murmurs something about Fjord being a hypocrite. 

As he takes the mug the towel slides down a bit, revealing even more scarred lavander skin. Fjord's gaze wanders. Around the snake and all over his right shoulder are red, pinkish flowers that he doesn't know the name of, but there's a strange softness to them. He wonders how would they feel under his fingertips. The flowers merge with the peacock that goes up to his cheek, colorful and proud as the tiefling himself. 

He is so in over his head. 

There's no way to tell if Molly is just ignoring Fjord not to subtly staring at him, which wouldn't be that weird since Molly never showed that he minds being stared at, or if he really doesn't notice it. 

“You wonderful man,” Molly taps Fjord's cheek with his tail, pulling him out of his thoughts. He takes a sip of the steaming tea and gives a content sigh, setting the mug down on a small table. “I could kiss you right now.”

“Well, why don't you?”

 _What_? 

Molly's eyes widen. Not in shock, just...uncertainty perhaps. There's an awful moment of silence and Fjord is just about to retract that statement, make a joke, anything to break the sudden tension, when Molly comes to stand closer in front of him, one hand clutching at the towel and the other coming to rest on Fjord's hip. With barely an inch between them Fjord can't help but get lost in the crimson eyes looking right back at him. 

Molly leans in even closer, hand previously positioned on Fjord's hip now cupping his cheek, gently caressing scarred lips. His gaze slides from Fjord's lips to his eyes, as if checking if he has changed his mind. Then when he doesn't move away, Molly kisses him. 

It is a gentle kiss at first, barely a touch of lips. As Molly's lips part against his, Fjord doesn't find it hard to melt into it and just let Molly take the lead. 

It takes him a moment to take it all in, the fact that he told Molly to kiss him, the fact that Molly _is_  kissing him, eagerly enough that Fjord feels like he's not the only one who has been wanting this. Which seems impossible but he ignores that thought and presses closer to the tiefling kissing him. He can have a crisis later. 

Molly's lips are soft and warm, he as a whole is so warm, and Fjord never wants this moment to end. His hand is cupping Fjord's cheek and the gesture feels so weirdly intimate, and again there's that tender warmth in his chest that seems to be reserved for Molly only. 

He's aware of every part of Molly touching him, his bony hips, chest moving with every breath and tail that's wrapping around Fjord's arm–

“You know,” Molly whispers, head lowering to nip at Fjord's neck. The feeling sends shivers down his spine. “I did originally come here to ask you for a ride.”

Fjord's mind freezes.

There's no point in denying that he thought about him like that, especially since this is Molly, attractive and very vocal about his sexual endeavours and, well. It's not that he's not interested. But there's also no point in pretending that he's ready for this now. With all the mess in his head, both regarding himself and what he feels towards Molly, this doesn't feel like the best idea. Most of the time,Fjord is not a person making good decisions, but he's fairly certain that he's far too uncomfortable with himself at the moment for sex to be enjoyable. 

And this thing with Molly, whatever it is, whatever perhaps it could be, this isn't something Fjord wants to fuck up. This isn't something he wants to hurry with and then regret in the morning. 

So he gently pushes Molly away. Not completely, just enough so he can clearly look at him. Molly gets the hint, tail untangling from Fjord and hand dropping to his shoulder. 

He looks up, question in his eyes. 

Fjord clears his throat. Shit. “Could we uh, just keep making out? Without the–” He gestures at the air between them and mentally kicks himself for being so damn awkward when it comes to sex. “I just- I don't think I'm at the best place right now for that.” 

He sees the realisation on Molly's face. 

“Oh. Shit,” he blurts out. “I'm sorry.”

A warm hand is gone from his shoulder and Fjord can't help but feel a tad of disappointment in his stomach at the loss of contact as Molly steps away. 

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have–”

“It's alright, Molls.”

“I just assumed, because that's what people usually want. And you– Sorry.”

Fjord sighs. “It's alright, really. You did nothing wrong.”

He shuts his eyes and breathes. He started this, clumsy as it is. Might as well finish. “Look, don't get this the wrong way. I do want this. I have been for a while now. But right now, I don't–” he groans. Fuck all his charisma when he can't put what he thinks into words. “I just want you to know, just because I don't want to have sex with you tonight doesn't mean I don't like you. I very much do, actually.”

Molly stares at him, looking kind of dumbfounded, brows furrowed. He shifts in place and lets out a strained laugh.

“I've never really had people want to just kiss me,” he explains. “Usually it's just fucking. Plus some kissing along with it.”

Fjord thinks what a shame that is, to not appreciate something special like Molly's kisses. “I would rather like to keep kissing you, if you don't mind.”

“I'd love that,” Molly replies, twisting one of his rings. “Just give me a second to put something on. And Fjord? You're okay?”

Fjord nods. “Sure, yeah. I'm great. Just... It's been a hell of a week,” he says and turns around to give Molly privacy as the tiefling reaches for the hoodie Fjord borrowed him. 

“At least it's almost over,” he hears Molly mutter. 

There's no guarantee that the next one is going to be any better, is what Fjord wants to say at first, but he has to admit there is something comforting about thinking that way. It's been bad, but it's almost over. He is not out of second chances. 

Fjord's hoodie is huge on Molly, especially considering Fjord bought it purposely so it's baggy on him too. The thing is just long enough on the tiefling so he technically doesn't even need pants. In a bout of bravery, Fjord walks over to Molly and gently moves still damp strands of hair out of his face. It's as soft as he imagined it'd be. He leaves his hand there, finger stroking Molly's tattooed cheek. 

“Kiss me again?”

So Molly does. 

Time blurs as they trade kisses and eventually end up on Fjord's bed, wrapped around each other. The reality is better than anything he could have imagined, the way Molly's skin feels under his fingertips, how he can feel the smile against his lips when he pulls his closer. Fjord traces the peacock tattoo with his hands, his lips. For the time being there's no unpleasant memories, no fear of the future, the world narrows down to the two of them, to the soft lips and fingers tangled in his hair, sound of rain and content noises Molly makes, the endless warmth engulfing him. Fjord wishes he could grab that moment and never let it go. 

The storm rages on. Neither of them pay it any mind.

***

By the morning the storm has subsidised, leaving the soft splatter of rain the only sound coming from the outside. 

Fjords awakes to dim light shining through the window, reflecting the glimmer of jewelry Molly is fiddling with on the edge of a bed. He doesn't seem to notice that Fjord is awake yet, so he takes his time watching Molly, still groggy from sleep, trying and failing to untangle a small chain around his horn. It's surprisingly endearing. 

After another minute of Molly swearing in Infernal and hissing at the thing, Fjord takes pity on him.

“Lemme do that for you,” he mutters, sitting up behind him and reaching for the piece of jewelry. 

Molly startles and pouts in mock offense. Scooting closer to him, Fjord carefully takes hold of the tangled piece. “How long have you been letting me torture myself?”

“Good morning to you too, darlin'.” 

It takes him way longer to arrange it than it would have if Molly had stopped moving and making it difficult, but he manages to fix the chain and lets it fall in it's place. 

Maybe it's just the morning drowsiness but Fjord doesn't even think before touching the pyramid tattoo peaking from under the shirt Molly has on. Molly doesn't seem to mind, he barely reacts to it. 

“Can I see the rest?” he asks, tracing the angry red eye in the middle. “The ones on your back.”

Molly tugs on the hoodie. “You okay with me losing this?”

Fjord hums in affirmation and soon the hoodie is discarded, leaving the tiefling naked again. It makes Fjord a little nervous, but a distinctly different sort of nervous than last night. 

His hand reaches towards Molly's back, barely touching at first, then pressing gently and tracing the moon that stretches over his shoulder. 

While Fjord's hands wander, Molly rearranges his jewelry, since the chain isn't the only thing tangled. He adjusts the pieces on his horns that moved while he was asleep, then puts on rings, one by one, all done with utmost care. Fjord helps him free the silver moon that got tangled with his hair. Why Molly even sleeps with all the jewelry on is beyond him. 

“You take great care of these,” Fjord murmurs.

“Hm?” 

“All that jewelry.”

He untangles a knot in Molly's hair as the tiefling stretches his hands and wiggles his fingers, rings glinting. “I enjoy pretty things, as you know.”

“I reckon you enjoy yourself quite a lot then.”

Molly grins. “That I do.”

Slowly, Fjord scoots even closer to kiss the back of Molly's neck. He feels Molly lean back towards him in response so he continues peppering kisses all over his shoulders, relaxing in the warmth. “You know, it might help if you take all that off before sleep. Just a thought.”

Molly hums, pretending to think. “Where's the fun in that?” 

“The part where you don't wake up tangled in your own jewelry and hair, maybe.”

“I'll think about it.” He won't. 

Fjord wraps his arms around Molly's waist, pulling him as close as possible and burying his face into the crook of his neck. There's that endearing rumble coming from Molly that Fjord can now clearly recognise as purring. “If you continue like this, you won't get me out of here anytime soon.”

“And why would I want that?” Fjord asks, voice muffled as he plants another kiss on the tiefling's neck. 

He feels Molly tense for a second, then quickly relax again. The change happens so fast that he almost misses it. 

“Why indeed,” Molly mutters.

“Hey,” he covers his hand with his own and gives a gentle squeeze. “Everything okay?”

Molly nods, tail winding around his calf. “Just peachy. Cuddle some more?”

“I'd love to, but I do have work in like, an hour, give or take,” Fjord admits, slowly untangling himself from Molly and getting up. He gets an unsatisfied whine in return. He can relate. “I can drop you off home before that?”

Molly seems to give it a thought. “Mm it's not really in the way. I'll just call Yasha, it's cool.”

“I've got time Molls.” And if he doesn't, he'll make some. 

“How about this,” Molly says. “You go get ready and all that, and if when you're done you still have time, drive me home. If not I'm gonna call her, don't worry.”

“Deal.”

Molly waves and flops back on the bed, starfish style, still stark naked. Just to fuck with him, but also a bit out of embarrassment, Fjord throws a blanket over him and leaves the room before Molly gets to complain. 

Fjord retreats to the bathroom to get ready for work and takes a moment to just take everything in. Now that he's not occupied and completely enamoured by Molly, he feels the familiar anxiety spreading. 

He expects something bad to happen. Not necessarily bad with a capital b, but at least something shitty enough to ruin his good mood. Because everything with Mollymauk went well, surprisingly well, and that can't last. Whenever something good happens there has to be a thing not so good to balance it out. 

He tells himself it's just the anxiety talking, obviously it doesn't have to be like that, but it doesn't help much. 

Once he's done getting ready and being an anxious wreck, he's definitely late for work. But there's a lot happening so this time the whole running late thing doesn't bother him as much as it usually would. He texts Caduceus a quick apology and a promise to be there soon. 

In the meantime, Molly has fallen asleep. Fjord isn't sure what to do with the funny feeling he gets while looking at the tiefling in his bed, wrapped in both the blanket and his hoodie, curled around a pillow and snoring. He seems to be perfectly content, jewelry on and all. 

So Fjord lets him sleep. He leaves a note, telling him to lock the apartment and drop off the keys when he goes to the shop later. It is Friday after all. 

It's still raining as he steps outside but at least the wind has calmed down, it doesn't destroy his umbrella while he's making his way through the parking lot like it happened with the last one. And the one before. 

He drives to work, unsuccessfully trying to ignore the annoying nervousness in his stomach. 

 

It helps that Beauregard decides to show up in the shop that day. Despite her loud, angry presence she does have a calming effect on him. 

Fjord tells her he started watching that show she talked about, which spurs her into rambling about it some more, this time with him finally understanding what shes talking about. Although since it is Beauregard he's talking to, it quickly turns into a rather simple conversation about how good looking the actresses are. 

“And fuck,” Beau sighs. “That scene, the ship battle one, you know what I'm talking about?”

“Yep.”

“Fuck, dude. She just fucking _did that_? Remember that shit?”

“Mhm. That was quite impressive.”

“Right? Like fuck! She could beat the shit out of me in two seconds and I wouldn't complain,” she sighs. “Okay, to be fair, I would put up a fight for a decent amount of time.”

“You'd go down like a sack of potatoes in a second.”

“Hey now–”

Beau's complaint is cut short by the sound of doors creaking. 

And because the universe just loves to fuck with Fjord and make his heart beat like he's run a marathon, Molly walks in, Fjord's baggy hoodie still on. He knew he'd show up, has been expecting him in fact, but this was kind of a shit timing. His appearance gets a reaction from both Fjord and Beau, though he's sure it's a completely different feeling. 

Fjord accidentally makes eye contact with him and has to look away. Beau on the other hand, very purposely looks Molly in the eyes, in a way that Caleb and Fjord joke seems like she's trying to establish dominance. Her smile drops dramatically. “Oh _you_.”

“I'm no more excited about seeing you here than you are, asshole,” Molly says. He flicks her bun and grins up at the half-orc. “Howdy, sailor.”

“Molls,” he averts his gaze for a second, long enough for Molly to wink at him. Fucker. 

Beau makes a half-hearted attempt to shove away the tiefling currently heavily leaning on her.

 “Fuck off. Fuck! I don't even want to talk about hot pirates anymore. You really ruin everything, don't you.”

“Ah, yes,” Molly scoffs. “That is definitely my fault.”

“Obviously,” she says. Finally, she gets Molly away from her and crosses her arms on her chest. “Are you and Yasha coming over? Jester wants to have a movie night,” she looks up at Fjord. “You too. Be there.”

“Who's choosing the movie?” Fjord asks, like he doesn't know the answer already. 

Beau shrugs. “Jester, probably.”

Yep. “Yeah, I'll be there.” 

To go or not, it's not really a question. Jester asked them to come, and what Jester wants Jester gets, one way or another. And he'd be lying if he said he doesn't enjoy their movie nights. Even if the actual movie burns his eyes. 

Beau nods and picks up a backpack she had thrown on the counter. She almost knocks down a potted cactus in the process.

“Beau, for fuck's sake,” Fjord grits out, just barely catching it.  “If you break anything I _will_  make you pay for it, don't fucking test me.” 

“Sure you will. Actually, if I break it do I get the thing? It's very cute and pointy.”

“You fucking– Anyway,” he ignores her flipping him off and looks at Molly, his stomach flipping when he finds the tiefling already looking at him. “Flowers?”

Molly blinks. It's a familiar expression, one that Fjord is sure he also has whenever he gets caught staring. The fact that he's caught Molly doing it is...well. “Hm? Oh! Yes. Flowers.”

Beau makes a gagging sound. Fjord debates throwing a rag at her. 

“This wasn't the plan but since the unpleasant one here is trying to murder your plants–” 

“Oh fuck you, you obnoxious jerk.”

“–can I get that poor cactus?”

There's no real reason for Beau to be annoyed with Molly wanting that cactus. She is however, because it is Molly and she loves bickering with him and being annoyed with everything he does. Mollymauk doesn't mind, he gladly takes it as a challenge. 

“Y'know Molls, you're right,” Fjord smirks at her. “It's probably for the best.”

“I will make sure Jester finds the worst movie possible, you will have nightmares made of rom coms.”

So Molly gets his small potted cactus, which still really irks Beau. It was set there just as a display thing but it's all worth it to annoy his friend a bit. And maybe it has something to do with Molly too. 

Beau rolls her eyes when Molly grins at her triumphantly, placing the poor plant as far away from her as possible. “Whatever. Take your cactus. Shove it up your ass.”

“It's for our lovely Yasha actually,” Molly explains. He sounds way too satisfied with himself. 

Beau blushes furiously and turns away from him. “That's fine then.”

Occupied with their bickering Fjord completely forgets about the key, until Molly puts it in front of him. 

“Here,” he says and turns around, getting some of his hair in Beau's face on purpose. “See you at your place tonight!”

She swats his shoulder as he's passing. “Good. Go. Let me enjoy life until then.”

At the door, Molly turns to Fjord once more. 

“Thank you,” he says, voice quieter, then yells something to Beau that Fjord doesn't catch as the doors shut behind him. Fjord gets a feeling that wasn't just about the cactus. 

Unfortunately, it doesn't escape Beau either. She stares at him, eyes narrow and accusatory.

“What?” he asks. That won't get her, he knows. But there's no way he'll admit anything to her outright, so playing dumb it is. 

“What was _that_?”  

“What was what, Beau? You gotta be more specific.”

“The key! Why the fuck does Molly have a fucking key to your place! That's _my_  thing!” she complains, gesturing around. Then her eyes widen. “Did you two fuck? Is that's what this whole thing was about? We were talking about this just few days ago and you forgot to tell me you two are fucking? What he fuck man?”

“Wha–? We are not!” 

Beau narrows her eyes. Fjord suspects she has it figured out, more or less. In the least she knows he's not telling her something. 

Beau raises an eyebrow and purses her lips. “Why did he have the key then?”

Fjord lets out a sigh, partially in defeat partially in annoyance. “His car broke down last night and there was a storm so I let him stay. That's all. You've seen way too many romantic movies with Jester.”

She doesn't buy it. “Could've just driven him home. Also, I'm not dumb, that was definitely your shirt he was wearing. Which, gross, by the way.”

Fjord glares at her. Beau glares back. 

After few tense moments of tense silence and overly intense glares on Beau's part, she lets out a groan. “Dude! Come on! You can't keep doing this!”

It sounds like victory. Just barely. Fjord makes a shoo motion with his hand. “Enjoy your day ma'am. Do visit us again.”

“Fuck you man,” Beau flips him off, waking towards the exit. “I _will_ tell Jester about all of this, just so you know.”

“You tell Jester everything. She's your weak spot.”

“I have no weak spots, fuck off.”

***

Beau, surprisingly enough, doesn't end up telling Jester anything. Fjord is sure of it because there's absolutely no way Jester would be able to resist asking for details and a thorough explanation. He thinks about thanking her but that would spur another awkward conversation about him and Molly, and the last thing he wants at the moment. 

He doesn't get a chance to talk to Molly afterwards either, not just the two of them alone. Honestly, he isn't sure what is it he's expecting. After the initial anxiety subsided he's figured that if nothing else at least Molly isn't about to make a big deal out of any of it. At most he'll get a kick out of making inappropriate jokes. Fjord can deal with that. 

Hopefully he can deal with unrequited feelings as well.

“–Fjord?”

Fjord blinks, stopping his train of thought to look up at Caduceus standing on his right. “Hm? Shit, sorry. Can you repeat that?”

The firbolg smirks, one floppy ear twitching slightly. “Distracted?” It's less of a question and more like a tease, Fjord has learned long ago that he can't hide shit from Caduceus. 'It's not about magic powers' he says. Fjord isn't sure he trusts that. “Just reminding you that you're done for the day, but you don't seem to be in a hurry to leave.”

Ah yes. Work. “Right. I was just going actually.” 

He packs his stuff, is about to wave back at Caduceus and exit the shop when he thinks of something. Deuce's ability to see others and understand them well from just a short interaction can be disconcerting at times, but maybe this time he can use it to his advantage. 

“Caduceus?”

“Mhm?” 

“Can I ask you something?” Caduceus nods slowly. To be fair, most things he does are slow, relaxed. Fjord envies the latter. “Like I may need an advice from someone who is more, you know. Perceptive. Good with reading people. Like that magic mind reading thing you do?”

“Not magic,” the firbolg shakes his head. “Not mind reading either.”

“Yeah, okay. Sure. But you cannot, I'm serious, you cannot mention this to any of our nosy as shit friends.”

Caduceus fixes him with a curious look. “Is this about Mollymauk?”

Fjord blankly stares at him for a long moment. Why did he even expect Deuces not reading him like a book? Caduceus, for his part, seems rather amused with Fjord's situation. 

“Neither of you is very subtle,” he shrugs, as if the implication of Molly not being subtle about this, whatever _this_ is, isn't turning Fjord's world upside down. “If you're asking me what to do, I think simply talking would suffice. You're making this more complicated that it is. Both of you.”

“Everyone keeps saying that!” Fjord rubs the bridge of his nose, trying to form thought into words. “Not always with these exact words but it sounds like you all keep implying that. Beauregard, Jester, now even you, but it's. It's not easy to me. I've never had an actual romantic relationship. Or truly had feelings for someone like this at all. I have no idea how this stuff works! This is all rather weird and complicated and I– I can't read people well like you do, how am I supposed to know if he's flirting with me because he wants to sleep with me or if it's just him fucking around like he does with everyone? Or it's because he actually likes me? Is there a chart for flirting or something? Do tell me if you have it figured out because I can't see the difference.”

He takes a deep breath and mutters an apology, embarrassed and a tad annoyed with himself. It's not that he minds the way Molly easily flirts with people, what he does mind is his own inability to see where they're standing.

Caduceus doesn't seem to mind his rant. After a moment he speaks, voice gentle and cautious. “You want me to tell you what's the difference?”

“If you'd be so inclined, please.”

Caduceus smiles and turns around the corner to make tea. Fjord follows. It's a quiet day in the shop anyway. 

“Molly flirts differently with you,” he says, offering him a cup which Fjord politely declines. “He's flirted with me before, was pretty straightforward about wanting to have sex. Now that he knows I don't care much about that it's more in a jokingly manner. With you, there's a certain way to it, more emotion, it's more...more than a joke but still not as simple as his way of making it clear that he just wants something physical.”

“You're saying he doesn't want to fuck me but it's more serious than his usual teasing?”

“I'm saying he wants more than that.”

“That's absurd,” Fjord scoffs. 

Caduceus shoots him a mildly annoyed glare, slowly sipping his tea. “You're very dismissive for someone who asked for an advice.”

“I'm sorry,” he murmurs. He keeps an eye on the entrance door to escape eye contact. “It's just quite hard to believe.”

“Well, there's a certain steadiness to you–”

Fjord cuts him off with a laugh. “I am not a steady person.”

“No,” Caduceus shakes his head. “You're too scared of making mistakes and disappointing others. You are a major mess of a person. 

“Thank you?”

“But still. I think he seems more relaxed around you, calmer.”

“Deuce, no offense, but this is Mollymauk we're talking about. He's not exactly a person who seeks out calmness. He revels in chaos. Being loud, arrogant and overwhelming is his _thing_.”

“And yet his best friend is Yasha.”

Yasha who is most likely the calmest person Fjord knows, outwardly at least. Yasha who collects flowers and takes such good care of them, with so much patience. Yasha who has never raised her voice on any of them, despite all their constant bickering and yelling at one another. Sure, she leaves with no explanation in a dead of night occasionally, but she always comes back. Not once had Molly seemed worried she won't return. She is a steady presence in his life. And from what Fjord has heard, pieced some things together, she always has been. 

“I see your point, kind of.”

“Well good!” he smiles and takes a sip of tea. “That's not all of the reasons why he could like you of course, but I'm not a mind reader,” he shakes his head gently when he notices Fjord raising an eyebrow. “Does this advice seem enough?”

Fjord thinks. “Yeah. Thank you, Deuce. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem, Mr. Fjord,” he smiles. At the at the sound of the door creaking he walks towards the counter. A dwarven woman walks in looking completely lost and flustered. Fjord waits aside as she buys a bouquet of red roses, which gives him an idea. 

“Do you think I should send him flowers? Instead of the talking thing.”

He doesn't think he's ever seen Caduceus glare at someone like that. 

Regardless of the firbolg's insistence that talking about it is the best solution, Fjord doesn't give up on the flowers. Partially because he's stalling, but also because now that he's got the idea he wants to follow through with it. It is a bit of an impulse decision but definitely not the worst one he's had.

Back then when he hadn't known Molly as Molly yet, only as that ostentatious tiefling who buys a weird amount of flowers, Caduceus and Fjord had a offhand discussion about which shade of purple he is. Caduceus said he's lavander but Fjord insisted that lilac is closer. He did google the colors afterwards and accepted that yeah, maybe lavander was more accurate. But if Caduceus ever asked he'd still insist it's lilac. It stays a sort of an inside joke between the two of them. 

So lilacs are the flowers he picks. He gets a squint from Caduceus and decides it's worth it even if Molly doesn't get the meaning. Roses might have been more obvious but he figures it's way too cliché, as someone who's been working in a flower shop for years he can do better than that. He hopes it's enough for the time being while he thinks of what to say.

***

Thankfully, or not so much, he's not sure, a chance to talk to Molly arises pretty soon. Only two days after sending the flowers actually. It happens during a walk home from the grocery store one weekend around noon. 

Fjord is enjoying the gentle snowfall outside, that creaking sound of boots against the fallen snow, puffs of air as he breathes out, until he hears a sound of heels clinking on the cleared road behind him. He turns around and comes face to face with no one else but Mollymauk. He supposes he shouldn't be too surprised, lately people have been showing up everywhere at the weirdest times. Especially this particular person. 

He wishes he could ignore the excitement bubbling in his chest. And nervousness. 

The tiefling catches up with him, hair peppered with snowflakes, wrapped in a long, fur lined coat that's entirely too bright for Fjord's taste but Molly pulls it off with no effort. Aside from the ostentatious coat, not only is he walking in high heeled boots around while everything is frozen and slippery, but he also has a dress on. 

“Do you have absolutely no sense of self-preservation?” Fjord asks. He refuses to acknowledge how gorgeous Molly looks in that simple dress. That is _not_  the point. “Or is this just an excuse so you can ask me to invite you inside?” 

Not that he needs an invitation. None of Fjord's friends need it, they gladly invite themselves in on the regular. The only one decent enough to ask beforehand is Caleb. Caduceus also calls but it's never a question, just a heads up that he'll be there soon. Fjord had pondered the idea of moving somewhere else many times. Eventually he had grown tired of pretending that it truly bothers him, it does get pretty lonely living alone. 

“Nice to see you too, dear,” Molly flashes a grin at him. “What brings you here?”

Fjord points at the building at the end of the street. “I live here.”

Molly huffs, moving one escaped lock from his face. He's not making eye contact, instead his are eyes set on one earring Fjord has. It's something he's used to seeing Caleb do but never Molly. “I knew that, obviously. I was hoping to catch you here somewhere.”

Oh. Well fuck. Is he ready for this? He is so not ready for this. 

He has thought about what to tell Mollymauk, about the flowers, the night he stayed over, about how he feels. But now that he's looking at him, Fjord's mind is blank. He decides right then and there that having a crush is the most irritating thing. 

Luckily Molly doesn't expect him to talk just yet. He himself seems like he's struggling with words, frustration obvious on his face. 

“Those flowers,” Molly stammers, looking at him at last. “Thank you, that's...that was really sweet.”

“I'm glad you liked them.”

“Did you mean it though?” he says so quickly Fjord almost doesn't understand him. 

His heart skips a beat. He didn't truly count on Molly knowing the meaning of lilacs, or caring about it. But then again, Yasha would certainly know something like that, and she would definitely share it with her best friend who received said flowers. He's come this far, there's no point in lying. “I did send them to you didn't I?”

Molly averts his gaze away from Fjord again, frowning slightly. He opens his mouth a few times but doesn't seem to find the words for what he wants to say. Fjord smirks. 

“Is it possible? I send you some flowers and that's what renders you speechless? Should've done it long ago.”

The comment makes Molly snort a laugh and breaks the tension a bit. “Oh fuck you. Don't lie to yourself, you love the sound of my voice.”

Fjord really does. He can't deny that. 

Molly scrunches up his nose as a snowflake falls on it, and Fjord is reminded of a conversation they had once, about snow and sea. A sudden idea shapes in his head. 

“Can I show you something?” he asks. It might not be the best idea, maybe it doesn't make much sense at the moment, but now that he thought of it he desperately wants to take Molly there. 

Molly rubs his nose, peering at Fjord behind a scarf. He wraps it tighter around himself. “Sure?” 

Fjord motions for him to follow. He tries to look like he knows what he's doing. He has no idea what he's doing. 

Soon enough they get into Fjord's car and he drives them to the beach. It's not that public sandy beach where people go during summer days, this one being more isolated and natural. Usually Fjord preferred sand to rocky beaches, but there was something about this place, the sound of waves crashing against the clifs along the shoreline, that left him peaceful, feeling at home. He's not sure why, but showing it to Molly feels right. 

Judging by Molly's face it really is. 

The combination of snow still falling, turning every surface white, and the sound of waves as the snowflakes melt in the sea is truly mesmerising. 

He lets out a breath he's been holding. “I know you lied about living at the seaside,” he says, smiling. Molly scoffs beside him. He puts a hand over his heart, feigning hurt. “Which is fine, you lie about most things. But I wanted to show you this place.”

“I've seen the sea since coming here, Fjord.”

“I know,” Fjord rolls his eyes fondly. “Have you seen this though?”

Molly averts his gaze to the horizon. He stands out here, in the midst of all white and gentle blue he could be a neon sign. “No. No, I haven't. Thank you.”

“I thought you might like it,” he admits. New experiences are what Molly has always seemed the most excited about, and while this simple place might not be much, certainly pale in comparison to everything else the world has to offer, it is what Fjord has to share with him. “It's special to me. There's this...feeling of belonging, if that makes any sense. It's comforting. Feels like things will turn out right. Not only this place, the sea in general. It brings this warmth, even during winter,” he stops, feeling Molly's eyes on him. Has he said too much? That was probably too much. “Sorry. That was kind of stupid.”

At his surprise and relief, Molly shakes his head. “Not at all. I think I get it.”

Fjord takes a moment to look at Molly, really look at him here amongst this, the mess of colors he is. This entire place he's described as peaceful, calming, and that makes sense; it's quiet, soft colors blending, blurring into each other. It's a place he'd go to when things got too much, when he didn't want to think but just be. Molly on the other hand, is the exact opposite. Loud in every way, his presence demanding attention, bright, practically glowing. But somehow... 

“You feel a lot like this place,” he admits out loud. 

Because it's true, Molly's presence has always been an unexpected source of comfort, despite everything that might point to the contrary. 

He feels Molly staring at him for a few painful, long moments, not uttering a word. He's so sure he fucked up. When he finally dares to look at the tiefling on his left, Molly is still not speaking , eyes wide and confused. Surprised? Fjord can't quite tell. He adds hurriedly, trying to salvage some of this conversation. “You don't have to– I just wanted you to know that. I'm aware this is not something you'd–” he finds himself at loss of words and groans. 

Frustrated, he turns away from Molly and rubs the bridge of his nose. “Nevermind. Forget I said anything.” 

“I'd rather not,” Molly says finally. He sounds...careful, unsure, not reluctant but clumsy, and Fjord is glad for it just a bit. Perhaps he's not the only wreck here. “People usually say I'm too much, this...I didn't except this.”

His response is not what Fjord has expected either. He was ready for rejection, awkwardness, but not Molly's confusion bordering on disbelief. “Well, sure, you are a lot sometimes. But not in a bad way. It's very *you* . And I like you. So none of that excludes what I said.”

Molly hums softly, stealing a quick glance at him. His tail swaying in a way that Fjord can't tell if it's because of interest or anxiety. 

“That was a lot, I'm sorry,” he says in an attempt to esse the atmosphere. 

“Oh, no it's okay,” Molly assures him and tucks a strand of hair behind his horn. The wind just blows it back in his face. He huffs. “I did want to talk to you about the flowers after all. That's kind of why I stopped by your place? Also, that thing few nights ago,” he trails off. 

Fjord can practically feel himself blushing. It's getting really fucking annoying. “I assumed you saw that as just a one night thing.”

“I thought so too?” Molly says, absentmindedly knocking one of his rings against the other. “But it felt like more. Because it was you, I think. Like, the whole thing, that night, you and uh. That. Sure was something. You also sent those flowers and I um,” he cringes. Fjord notices the nervous way his tail loosely winds around his leg and how he keeps knocking the rings together. “Fuck. That was so bad. I promise I had a better speech prepared.”

He can't hold back a snort. “I'm sorry, a _speech_  ?”

“Don't you dare laugh at me, I know exactly what I'm doing.”

“Do you really?” Fjord cocks an eyebrow. Molly's smile falters a bit. It's such a subtle change he's surprised he noticed it at all. 

“Yes. No. I have no idea,” he sighs, hands falling at his sides. “Well, first I wanted to tell you I'll forget about the whole thing if you wanted me to, but then I got those lilacs and Yasha told me what they mean and now I'm not sure what I'm doing. But _you_  seem to know what you're doing, so–”

Fjord doesn't laugh but it is a close thing. “I have no goddamn idea what I'm doing either, Molls. That's kind of the reason why I sent you those flowers, I didn't know how to actually ask you out and I was scared. I'm still scared, to be honest. This isn't something I've ever done before.”

Molly stands closer to him and puts his hands on Fjord's shoulders, picking at his scarf. Fjord can feel his breath on his face. “Are you asking me now?” he asks, voice coming out almost as a whisper. 

“Yes.”

Molly closes the distance between them. This time it's short and chaste, not much compared to all those kisses few nights ago. Despite all that it's still the sweetest. 

“I'm assumin' that's a yes?” Fjord asks when Molly pulls away. 

“You better take me somewhere good,” he grins and pats Fjord's cheek.

Well, that's going to be a challenge. What would count as good enough for someone like Molly? 

“Gimme a hint?”

“Honestly, just don't make me drink any more of your coffee and we'll be fine.”

Fjord laughs and kisses him again, hands cupping his warm cheeks. 

He can work with that. 

***

They've been dating for about a week when Fjord gets a sudden message from Yasha. 

Sudden, because any message from Yasha can't be anything else. Yasha never texted him before. Honestly, Fjord thought for a pretty long time she doesn't even own a phone. She rarely talks in the group chat, except those times that she sends pictures of flowers or answers when Jester or Molly ask her something. They're the only ones still trying to get her to talk, and the only ones that can actually get a response from her. 

 **Yasha** : can i come over

 **Fjord** : Sure? Whats up

Almost the exact moment the message sends theres a knock on the door. Fjord sighs. 

She greets him with a faint smile and a nod. He actually has to look up at her, and she looks so stiff and awkward in his apartment, with no Jester and Beau to be in the spotlight or Molly to talk instead of her.

“So uh, want a drink?” he asks as they enter the living room, confused as to what is Yasha doing at his place, alone. He kind of has an idea, one thought that he's not so fond of. 

She shakes her head. “No. But thank you.” 

She doesn't seem to know what to do with her hands, one moment keeping them in her lap and other letting them fall by her side. In the end she settles for crossing her arms over her chest. Fjord kind of wishes she just left them in her lap, this looks way more threatening. 

“So,” she starts, voice steady. She looks at him, different colored eyes staring into his soul. “I'm here because I wanted to talk about Mollymauk. And you. That thing you two have going on.”

*Ah. There it is. 

He doesn't quite want to look her in the eyes but there's also this funny need to prove himself. Which is...kind of dumb. It's just _Yasha_  for fuck's sake. “What about it?” 

“Just giving you a heads up. I like you. You're a friend of all my friends, my friend too,” she starts and purses her lips. The black lipstick somehow manages to make her look even more intimidating. “But if you hurt my best friend I will not hesitate.”

In his head, Fjord hears Jester reference that fucking vine and has to stop himself from laughing in Yasha's face. This is a serious conversation for fuck's sake. 

Fjord clears his throat. “I'm not gonna do that. Hopefully.” 

Yasha raises an eyebrow, looking distinctly unimpressed. “Not good enough.”

“I will not do that. Promise,” he says, then quickly adds. “I mean, I can't promise that everything will always be perfect but I can, and I am, promising you that I will try my best. And if I ever fuck up really badly–”

“I will have your head.”

“T-that's, fair I guess.”

Yasha frowns. “Was that too extreme?”

“Uh. A bit.”

“Oh,” lets her arms fall to her lap. “Sorry. I won't...do that. But I will be mad. Really fucking mad. And trust me, you don't want that.”

“Nope,” he agrees. Yasha seems to relax again, absentmindedly fidgeting with her fingers. “But also, you should give him the benefit of the doubt. Molly knows how to take care of himself. He may be a chaotic dumbass but he's not a helpless child.”

Yasha nods and hums in what Fjord assumes is agreement. “True. But Molly is, uh, clumsy with this,” she gestures with her hand, vaguely in Fjord's direction. “This kind of thing. Even with just one night stands he's bad at seeing what some people are like. Or he just doesn't care. I'm not sure what's worse. The point is, I don't want him to get hurt. Especially now, because this is not just sex. This is...more. And I don't think he's very good at this yet.”

“Neither am I,” he admits. In his opinion, all of them are a bit clumsy when it comes to emotions and relationships. “But I think you and I are on the same side here then.”

“I know,” she sighs. After a beat of silence she looks at him again. “Don't, uh, get this wrong. I don't want you to get hurt either. But this is kind of–”

“Yeah, I get it. Best friend thing. Don't worry about it.”

“That, yes. It felt like something that had to be said,” she nods. “Actually, can I have a cup of coffee? Is it rude that I'm asking now?” 

“Not at all. Gimme a sec.”

***

 **Fjord** : I need you to ask Yasha what she thought about my coffee

 **Molls** : ??? 

 **Fjord** : She drank it and said it was good but I cant tell if shes just being polite or if actually likes it  
**Fjord** : She wont lie to you  
**Fjord** : This is groundbreaking pls

 **Molls** : lmao shes probs being polite ive had ur coffee

 **Fjord** : Just ask her

 **Molls** : kk  
**Molls** : ??   
**Molls** : she says it was good???   
**Molls** : fjord what did u do???

***

“Remember when I told you I had no family?” Molly asks one morning while they're eating breakfast on the couch. His feet are in Fjord's lap, a constant looming threat to the cereal he's holding. 

Fjord murmurs in affirmation. “What about it?”

“Mm, I changed my mind,” he says, mouthful of croissant. 

“Molls, I love you, but please do cut the bullshit. It's way too early.”

“Rude,” he chucks the wrapping in the direction of the bin and misses completely. “I was just thinking how neither of the two of us actually have a family right? I think Beau made a good joke about that once.”

“That's a depressing fucking thought Molly.”

He shrugs and takes another bite. “I thought it was kinda funny.”

“You're bullshiting me.”

“Anyway! I realised recently how that's not so true. If you think about it–”

“Is this when you tell me that you actually do have a sister who taught you how to play the violin? Can you actually play the violin?”

“Okay, first of all, fuck you. Secondly, yes I can.”

“Oh?” It _is_ a pretty nice visual. 

“Yeah,” he points at the cereal in Fjord's lap. “Can I have some of that?”

“No! Go make your own,” he lifts the bowl as Molly reaches for it. His tail flicks Fjord's nose. “There's a perfectly usable kitchen right there, Molly, let me eat my goddamn breakfast.”

Molly huffs and flops back on the couch. He mutters something about Fjord being bitchy which only gets him a pinch at the side. Fjord should really thank Beau for telling him how ticklish Molly is. “You were saying?”

“Hm? Oh that,” he yawns. Fjord notices he's twisting one of his rings, pulling it off only to put it back in place again. Then repeats it. He's still not sure if it's a nervous tic or just a habit. “Well I mean, we're a family, right?”

Oh. 

Fjord stops eating his cereal and looks at the tiefling stretched out beside him. He must've made a weird face because when Molly meets his gaze he quickly adds. 

“Not just you and me, I meant all of us. A giant disaster of a group, sure, but still a family of sorts.”

A family. Huh. 

It's not that Fjord has never thought about having a family, he sure has, both as a child and as a grown up. Every time Jester talks about her mother, or Caduceus' older sister shows up at the shop. He has thought about it, wished for it, but family was never something he truly thought he would have. Family was a pipe dream. 

But now...

He can't say for sure that they're what a family is supposed to be like, he has nothing to compare it to. But he thinks it should feel something like this. 

The thought makes him feel comfortably warm and giddy inside. 

He's pulled out of his thoughts by a feeling of Molly's tail gently slapping his cheek. “You here?”

“That's a hell of a thought for a morning,” he murmurs, trying not to be too obvious about how emotional that made him. He tugs Molly's tail away from his face and it wraps firmly around his forearm. A gesture that, as he's learned in a few months that they've been dating, is Molly's way of hugging when he's too lazy to move from his spot. Or as Jester once told him, a benefit that comes with having a tiefling for a date is that you can get *double* hugs. She said many other things about privileges when dating a tiefling, particularly about advantages that come with tails, but Fjord mostly tried to block it off. 

“Maybe. It did make you smile though.”

Fjord didn't realise he was smiling. It's not a bad thing, not something to be embarrassed about, but he still reflexively bites his cheeks. He barely even notices that he's doing it until Molly's tail squeezes his arm tighter, a reminder to relax.

“Oh, you're blushing now, what a morning,” he laughs. Fjord groans and tries to continue eating his now cold cereal. He shoots Molly one quick glare. “What! It's looks good on you!”

“You're such a chaotic fucking force to handle sometimes, you know that?”

“Yes,” he purrs. “But do I get a kiss for my troubles?”

Fjord sets the spoon down, fingers tracing the outline of Molly's tail. “I don't know, are you gonna get up here?”

Molly begrudgingly props himself up from the pile of pillows he dragged there, just enough to reach Fjord. He puts both hands on Fjord's face and pulls him closer. He grins and places a kiss on his boyfriend's brow, then climbs into his lap. 

They're interrupted by the sound of shattering glass as the bowl full of cereal falls to the floor. 

“ _Molly_!”

Molly laughs, loud and uncaring. If there was any annoyance Fjord felt it all fades away with that sound.

Still, just to make a point, Fjord tries to push him away. Thanks to him, he has to go change now, since his pants are wet from milk and there's glass scattered all over the floor, combined with his breakfast, that needs to be taken care of. But Molly won't move. 

“Oh no,” he scoffs, finally done laughing at the mess he made. He wraps his arms around Fjord's neck. “You're staying here. You woke me up at 8am, which is unforgivable,”

“Not on purpose, you–”

“Absolutely unacceptable. So you're gonna cuddle with me here, right now.”

“Maybe I would but _someone_  destroyed my breakfast and spilled milk all over my clothes and the floor, also there's glass everywhere–”

Molly cuts him off, already dragging him in a laying position. “We'll have time to clean that later. Now _come here_.”

“My pants are completely wet.”

“I would certainly hope so,” he smirks. Fjord continues glaring at him, although it is a rather weak glare. Molly pokes his cheek with his tail and pulls him towards himself again. “Just get rid of them!”

Now, when Mollymauk sets his mind to something it's difficult to get him to let it go, be it tricking Beau into eating a spoon of mayonnaise instead of lino lada or just cuddling with his boyfriend. That is the case this time as well. 

So in the end Fjord does find himself in a tangle of limbs with Molly, in the midst of way too many pillows, some of which he recognises as his own from the bedroom and some that Molly has gradually been dropping off at his place. His pants end up thrown on a pile of broken glass and spilled milk on the floor that Fjord wills himself to forget about for the time being. 

“You're horrible,” he mutters fondly. 

There's a muffled snort that Fjord more feels on his neck than hears. “Sure. You love me.”

Fjord hugs him tighter. He buries his nose into Molly's hair and closes his eyes, content to stay here for the rest of the day. “I really do.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> (i thought lino lada was a thing everywhere apparently it is not? Im not sure anymore but just in case, sorry abt that, its like white nutella basically) 
> 
> I cant say these are completely correct but i have spent way too much time making sure i got these right so hopefully its fine.  
> Sunflowers symbolise adoration and dedication, generally associated with happiness.  
> Lilacs, specially that color bc every color has another meaning apparently, symbolise first love, somewhere it said first emotions of love hence the title.
> 
> Im sorry about any language mistakes or characters being too ooc, ive never written from fjords pov so idk how much i fucked up, also it took me. Very long to finish this and i changed some parts too many times im kind of lost at this point, its a mess. This really was supposed to be a short first meeting fic but its this now, whatever that is. Thank you for reading💛


End file.
